I had to laugh when you said "I have come to a place where I can be direct..."

one of the great things about being 40 plus!! Love it and agree with it. I'm there.

Thank you for putting it so well to this man who is only interested in his own money.

If you are that well off that you have to be suspect of everyone you date as a potential gold digger, then dressing down might not be such a bad idea. Try to play down your fortunes a bit, your dates don't have to be told about your real estate holdings. Some people who are wealthy, act it. They raise their "look at me" flags to the rest of the population. This phenomena is pretty obvious amongst the ranks of the hollywood brats who think they are entitled.

Men have no concept of "just being a friend", they want the sex too.

Personally, I ask what am man does for a living to start the research into whether he is the kind of guy who might be able to stomach my opera-loving, tree-hugging, Shakespeare-quoting, painter-of-beautiful-things-too-esoteric- for-most-men-not-to-suffer-gag-reflex when even thinking about being a part of my world.

Sadly, many man "stereotypes" don't work with my tree hugging artistic Gregorian Chant theme decorating St Swithuns Day Celebrating red haired chemistry loving self. That's right, no matter how absolutely adorable I am, they just can't stand all the daisies and butterflies.

So. Free advice: Don't pick them up in your Lamborghini, don't take them on high-impact extreme dates for supper in France, don't over dress or over-accesorize with your bling FOR THE FIRST THREE DATES minimum. Don't talk about your homes, your vacation plans in Tahiti, how you have three degrees from Harvard (unless they are in Russian literature, that would get my attention), that you won the lottery, or were just born into it all.

Turn it around, and ask about HER. Show an interest in her interests, see what she is like before you blind her with your financial statement. A nice meal, in a nice clean restaurant with real linens on the table. Have good wine, leave a decent tip. Please, don't show off. Just... don't.

Say "Hi. I'm (Bob). I hope you like this place, I really like (Sushi or whatever). That's a pretty dress. Are you from California? Tell me about your family, do you have siblings? Tell me about growing up...."

And ya know, ya might learn you have been looking at the wrong type of woman to complete who you are....