The Writing Group (TWG)

Yanna, Westerly and all,

Methinks the judge should make an "official" close to this puerile contest. He who began it should end it. It doesn't feel right that the Bad Free Verse affair should wheeze to a close.

KenWritez, this is an appeal! Please choose your winner and bestow the prize.

I am in agreement with our Queen here. Who shall the winner be?

Who am I to ignore the wishes of Der Kveen? I bow before your radiant majesty, Majesty, and declare this contest closed.

Now for the good news:

Deciding the winner of the coupon was difficult--so many worthy entries! In the end, one writer's work stood clear, pure and alone in its wretchedness.

Everyone, your winner is...

CarolT!

(Waiting for whistles and applause to die down and confetti, balloons to stop dropping from the ceiling.)

The unrelenting banality of her offering coupled with the total absence of any decent structure numbed my eyeballs as effectively as someone explaining economic theory to me.

Le Medale du Dishoneur must go to LanSr for his prodigious output. His incoherent yet monomaniacal focus on his mouth and his crotch elevated him to a status not often seen on these shores.

Special Judges Mention to akabukowski for her solo effort, which combined the most plebian of imagery with the pinnacle of actual structure. Frankly, you were the closest competitor to CarolT, and only your status as Der Kveen and lack of sucking up to me barred you from the rose neck wreath and coupon. ;)

Finally, a tip of my judges hat to nebrad for the sucking up. Well done and much appreciated! Everyone, take a page from this man's book. Then, he'll have nothing to read.

Thanks to all who participated (and to the good-natured akabukowski for allowing me to mock her name and for allowing this travesty and rolling freakshow to rumble across her borders.)

Now, for the highlight reel:

At least I get paid $.48 a mile. --CarolT

==============

I think your

expense account

(farted) --LanSr

==============

Thou faithless whore,

lifing thy skirts to the money changers

ignoring earnest entreaties

to shine in the light.

You'd rather loll back

with your elbows on the bar,

lift your mouth

and HOWL!

Rum farts --Westerly

==============

My eyes, boiled from peroxide intended for roots --Yanna

==============

Why is my belly is louder than the movie?

Something is wrong with this picture. --Otter354

==============

My Cookies

I cannot find them --Yanna

==============

Oh, Goddess of Divine Fuel,

Fill my tank with your leaden inspiration

And drive me towards the finish line. --Otter 354

==============

darkness falls

like a bargain basement facelift

....

years slip by

like illegals at the border --akabukowski

=============

How may I assuage my stinky pits?

Maybe cough syrup? Cheese? Asbestos?

Bam! --CarolT

=============

Imagery like this I can't soon forget.

No matter how hard I try.

Thank you all again!

I am humbled.

I await my prize.

I should split it with LoraMa, whose inspiring grocery list put me over the top.

Now, ifr I wouldn't have been on (prescribed)

drugs,

this would have been a

CarolT?!

"won"!

Hey, good goin', girl!

and now, I'll just

slip another pill

dpwn the gullet

and down

that baby past

'urk'

and think of

prozac unwon

(prizes, sowy)

and think

if I hadn't had been

in hospital two

days

I'd have overwhelmed all

it was MINE,

ALL MINE,

then I blew it

(and mumbling about blue

dresses and cigars)

I relly think

ababukowski in color

overwhelms my

fantasies

and

Yowza, won't go there...

moi

w/Blessings