Groups > The Challenges of Being Single!

OK...I'm just starting to be willing to be "out there". What does that really mean? I haven't been on a date in 28 years! I don't know if I would know how to act! I feel like I am starting over....I know I really am....boundries seem very different now....

I'm at the same place as you are. I'm trying to decide if its worth it? Will I feel better or worse about myself? If you get the answer let me know!

I just posted something similar in the "baggage" discussion. Does being ambivalent mean still carrying bad baggage?

i can comment on this as i've been "out there" for 5 years now. i was divorced from a marriage of 22 years. its not too pleasant all around. i've had full blown, and semi long lasting relationships which sprung out of posting personals on matching websites. i've spent easily 1000 dollars on trying to get matched up. I had 4 involvements. the first man relocated on my account and we searched for a house together. we found it and he started living there and i was going to live with him in a year following after my daughter left my house and went to college. before i moved to be with him, i caught him fooling around with his new next door neighbor. i met the next guy on personals. i found some red flags in our relationship and ended it after a year together. i am very selective, i find. after him, i was with a guy who was wonderful for 4 months. when my friend from florida was going to visit, he said he'd come over. knowing when we were single, she was always flirtatious with my boyfriend, i advised him i wanted to enjoy the visit without him there. he more or less pressured me. they lost me and spent most of the visit with eachother. after that, i never wrote to or called my florida friend and broke off with him, too. lastly, i met someone on personals. he was wonderful to be with for 4 months. then i noticed he got angry at small things often so ended it with him. and because i don't want to be alone, i keep trying but feel quite discouraged! i hope your experiences will be better. my advice: meet and agree to date as friends for as long as you can to get to know him in all different scenarios. don't rush into anything too soon.

Frankly, I hate it. It's like a job interview...too much pressure. Small parties and group dates are the best way to start out.

There are times when it does feel like a job interview and then there are the few times that the conversation flows smoothly from one topic to another - that's what keeps me coming back.