Posted: Aug 4, 08 4:15am
The first rule is not for the faint of heart, but, I laughed so hard my Sunkist went everywhere. -C.R.
New Rule - Don't kiss your little dog in public. Paris Hilton gave her little dog a big smooch. That ain't sexy, Paris! It's also not sexy to dress your male dog in bright pink clothes. He'll think he's gay, or, since you kissed him, he'll think he's getting laid later. Hopefully not on video. Seeing Paris with one dog, Rick Soloman, was enough. Yes, I have a sick mind! -Rachel
New Rule - People should pay Jolie and Pitt more for pictures of their two kids that could end up as the Anti-Christ. People magazine paid $14 million for the first pics of their two brats. Uhh, People magazine, I think people would be much more interested in seeing her naked as long as she's stopped wearing that thing full of blood. -Jennifer
New Rule - Barack Obama needs shorted videos on YouTube. My attention span is 30 seconds on politicians saying the usual bulls@#t! And, Barack, stop saying McCain played the race card. I believe Bill Clinton did that. And, just some fashion advice, but can't you wear some new suits? That one dark one is getting old. Mitt Romney may have been as dumb as a hammer but she, er, he dressed pretty! -Rachel
New Rule - America should boycott the Olympics. We've spent hundreds of billions of dollars to liberate Iraq and are kneeling at China's totalitarian state for some weird sports? But, this is about swimming not civil rights. No, it is about NBC making millions of dollars showing the Olympic games. It is about coke being a proud sponsor of a society that kills female babies because they can have only one child per family, and they want a boy. It is about Tibet being persecuted for religion. It's about putting walls infront of the poor Chinese people so the world can look the other way. Hell, journalist, all 20,000, can't even watch Hentai porn much less go to Amnesty International. In fact, NBC stands for "Nothing But Communism" now. Even pacifist France put out the torch. America, Land of the Free unless the Olympics are in China. Maybe with all our privacy disappearing before our eyes were are more in tune with China than Europe. F@#$ it! Illegal Aliens have more rights than the Chinese. Who cares? Obviously not most Americans who barely know who the Vice-President is. -Rachel
New Rule - Now that Bush is about to leave office he needs to promote legalizing Marijuana. It's not like he doesn't look like he's on some bad sh@t anyway. Just think, Mr. President, you have a big ranch to grow it on and that means Cha-Ching! It would be the first time in your life you actually earned any money. -Jennifer/Rachel
New Rule - Hey, John Edwards, is that really your love child? Lisa Druck, her actress name, is being paid allegedly, $15,000 a month to keep her mouth shut. Too bad she didn't keep her legs shut during the 18-month affair or John would've used a condom. And, just to think, I can no longer, in good fun, keep calling John Edwards a fag. SH@T! Why couldn't it be the pool boy he had an affair with. Oh, the possibilities! The drama! The jokes I've lost at his expense! Thank God I drink! -Rachel
