Posted: Aug 5, 08
11:34am
I was watching the movie Daddycamp.It was pretty funny.So,you wouldn't think a comedy could leave you with something to think about.But for me,it did.
The son,30something and his father were talking.Their relaionship had always been strained.The father said something that struck me
"The older you get,the more you remember the way you'd like things to have been"
After my mom died,my sister went to stay with him to help him for awhile.They got into a "discussion" about the times we were growing up.
He didn't remember our mother ever being abusive to us.He didn't remember her ever hitting us.Since this was basically a daily event,we didn't understand how that could be.But he really didn't remember it.
I could tell when he was talking to me about it one day.
So,I started thinking about my time as a parent.I already know I've blocked out most of the memories of childhood.There would good times.
Those I cling to.What I remember about the hard times is the fear.I couldn't repeat one negative phrase that I knew was drummed into my head.It's odd what your memory does.
As for my time as a parent raising our kids,I am sure I made mistakes.I just knew I didn't want them to go thru what I did.I told them I loloved them right from the start.I gave hugs.I gave them encouragement.Unitl my husband,I never said I love you.
I never said those words to my parents until I had kids.They had never said it to me.I know,growing up,I went to them before going to bed and gave them a kiss on the cheek goodnight,
With my kids,I made sure they were shown the love that I didn't get.
I would love to be able to look back on our childhood the way my parents remembered it.It makes me wonder.
I know we are to live in the present,but where we are is because of where we've been.Like I said,makes me wonder.
