Successful Marriage Counseling?

I hate to see long-term relationships break up. I've watched couples in restaurants that don't look at each other, don't talk and certainly don't touch. I think that's very sad. I was married for 39 years to my husband, lover, soul mate and best friend until I lost him to cancer. Now, I'm trying to save some of these relationships.

Find someone that teaches Tantra. It can help revive the spark in a relationship...if BOTH parties are willing. I teach classes in Neo-Tantra, but I'm in L.A. I'm sure that you can find someone local that will work.

I wish you the best.

ewb1--Two counselors-two!! Please believe me I am not trying to be a smart aleck but has it occurred to you that you and she are destined to be friends ONLY?

I've had a number of relationships that took me awhile to figure that one out but fortunately did not have to go into therapy(with separate counselors) to find the answer. Good Luck-sincerely.

You know I noticed that two, everyones answer majority of the time is counseling,however you never do hear of counseling being successful. Good question & Good Luck

I am a licensed marriage counselor and I understand your skepticism. There are some very ineffectual and downright lousy therapists out there. Some therapists and some clients are also just not a good match but could work better with others. Often too, a marriage breaks up anyway so that folks may think the counseling failed. But leaving a bad marriage is a GOOD result for many, healthier in the long run

I always tell people that if they really don't feel they have gotten any benefits from six sessions at the most (three with me) to move on.

My husband and I went to counseling together 6 years into our 15-year marriage. Speaking for myself, I do think it was helpful for a couple of reasons. I learned that he and I have a very, very different styles of communicating. Our counselor gave me great tips on how to "hear" what he was saying and how to encourage him to talk with me.

Our counseling sessions also provided an environment in which we "had" to talk about our problems. At home, we'd get busy with stuff and made excuses not to sit down and talk. The counselor was a great moderator and helped to keep things civil and effective.

Would I go to counseling again with him? I think so.

I know couples who go to counseling and it definitely didn't work for them. I don't know if that's the counseling itself (or the counselor) or if their relationship wasn't going to work anyway.

Friendship is so crucial to a marriage. If you have that with your wife, I encourage you to work it out with her. Be that with a counselor or not.

Best of luck,

Karen

I like what you said about getting benefits or moving on. That shows that you have ethics. Bless you for that... many others don't.