Bravo George. (and Good morning!). A most encouraging, thoughtful and inspirational post. Yes. I'd say you're " Still Standing" with honours!

George

Your post is inspirational! You can always tell when it comes from the heart. Thank you!

sfco@ptd.net Sharon

That remark came at the right time. I have been having a bit of a tough time. Thank you so much.

If you're really serious about that "need a friend" thing, I could use one right about now. Is there any way we could chat...soon? I'm in a bad place right now and have been going to 12 step meetings for lack of any support groups close by. But they don't help that much. My demons aren't alcohol and drugs any more. Your post is helpful, but I want more. Sure I've survived alot: suicide attempts, hospitalizations, abandonment by my children, drugs, alcohol, bad relationships, etc., etc. I'm medicated, have a good therapist, work a steady job, amazing support from my parents, siblings, even my first ex-husband who, for some unknown reason stayed with me for 20 years. Having said all that, I lost my dog at the same time my youngest went off to college and, meds notwithstanding, I'm sobbing and cursing God and my constant, evil companion (bipolar disorder) and wondering how I might be able to really follow through so that my 7th try will simply be "suicide" without 'attempt' at the end. Can you truthfully tell me, George, that you live a life with this illness under control? How?

Yes, I can definitely say that. Couple of trite, but noteworthy sayings. Your life begins NOW. Whatever happened with the hospitalizations, suicide attempts, etc, is the history most of us deal with who have had and are dealing with this disorder. That means, you are no longer a slave of the past, but master of your present. Note that I'm not saying anything about the future, because it's only necessary to make it through today. Now, let me state what I know about you. You're obviously quite intelligent and capable of stringing together some well thought out sentences. So you're also smart enough to perhaps examine the following.

1. The medicine is a cap on a disorder for which there is no cure. The illness shifts for a variety of reasons. Some of them chemical, others enhanced by stress, from whatever source. In fact, stress is the number one contributor to the inability of the medications to keep a plug on things. That having been said, you must now examine what specifically stresses you out and what you intend to do about it with regard to a positive model. Remember, suicide is an attempt to deal with stress, but it is an unacceptable model for obvious reasons.

2. Let us assume for a moment that your coping skills are wanting. You go to the psych doc for the pills, and perhaps you have a therapist you work with. The psychiatrist is primarily interested in the effectiveness of the medication you're taking and there are no longer any of them that are willing to take the time or interest in listening to the sob stories of the past.

3. Your therapist would be a more likely source to deal with your stress levels. And it is my considered opinion hat this is the hurdle that you must overcome.

4. Probably the best way to deal with that (and you might not like it) is a medicine like Klonopin. You can stay on that forever without undue effects. It's very effective at calming you down. Without an ability to remain calm, your decision making process will always be compromised. You should first discuss this with your doctor. You only need to be on it for about a day to notice the difference.

5. Let's assume now that you are on Klonopin (or it's generic name (clonazepam) and have chilled out enough to think a little more clearly. You now need to make your appointment with a therapist and discuss what specific steps you would like to take to reduce your stress levels. And I will state here that if he/she isn't going to work with you effectively at this point, time to go shopping for a therapist who will.

6. You can't fix everything at once. You must find specific stressors and discuss them with your therapist and lay out a plan of action that includes some work on your part in attaining small but measurable goals that can be attained without themselves causing more stress. Nothing succeeds like success my friend.

7. Go out and buy a self help book on dealing with stress. It's called bibliotherapy because you can gain a lot of knowledge by reading, especially if it's a book with a definitive plan. That's juts for starters. We can go a lot deeper but this is where it all begins. That's the way I approached it and nothing, not even Bipolar Disorder can stop me from succeeding. I rule. Not the disorder. And you can achieve this also. I believe in you.

My 19 yr old son has bipolar 1and uses music to soothe his mind. Is anyone familiar with music therapy for bipolar? He writes/plays/sings beautifully. Thanks for giving hope George.

Music therapy has been in use for years for all sorts of situations. No need to think it won't work for bipolar as well. Many musicians are bipolar. The illness itself seems to attach itself to many creative people.

I'm not familiar with anyone here specifically who uses music therapy with bipolar illness, but I would encourage your son to keep exploring his music capabilities and have as much fun as possible.

I have a Masters Degree in Music, so I've been at it a long time, and nothing is more gratifying than laying down a new track.

Have your son go here and listen to a few of my arrangements. Tell him they were created by someone who is bipolar and is doing great. http://reverbnation.com/georgevrichards