Groups > Sexless Marriages

Hey Chloe, i had a couple of long posts on this topic; basically staying for the kids but the time has come now to decide. This month we are going to have a conversation about our future. we are no longer in love, some caring is there because we spent over 2 decades together. living like roommates.

Giving advice to others without understanding their issues is not advisable but couple of thoughts came to mind so sharing those - your son is too young and most likely will not remember anything if you left now. if you still love your husband but sex and intimacy is the only issue (which i'm sure is not) then find a friend with benefit. no need to take husband's permission but have an agreement that whatever you do to keep you happy is your business and it includes FWB.

I can tell you that leaving now is much better than later. things get really complicated when kids grow older. they will need a dad when they start going to school.

just my .02. I'm with you. (((((Hugs)))) to you.

Chloe, I think there's alot more of you than you realize. I used to be one. It took alot of courage and strength, but it was for the best. The kids never saw much of their father anyway, after the divorce, they saw him whenever they wanted and when he was available (not often). It's worked out. Of course, running a business together puts a whole new spin on things. Keep your chin up.

I have a daughter and would never leave on that account. I also don't want to go through the pain of divorce, give up minimum half of what I made, get dismantled posession by posession. I would have to move far away from Kaitlyn and that would kill me. I am comfortable with my lifestyle. If that is selfish then so be it. I believe I still love my wife. I am just tired and frustrated.

Yes! While there may be feelings left, emotionally i believe it will be impossible to reconnect. For me, my kids wellness is above everything. But I also know somehow, somewhere an outlet needs to be found.

I wanted to share another interesting (very interesting to me) perspective on this yesterday: We've all heard the usual arguments for why staying for the sake of the children isn't such a good thing, e.g. that they aren't stupid, they feel the tension, the example of a broken relationship may be doing more damage than leaving would, etc. But this was a new one: People in bad marriages tend to focus a lot of energy on their situation - either brooding, talking about it in places like this, engaging in either online or real-life affairs... This person pointed out that all of this actually takes away from what you have to give to the children, that if you would leave the bad relationship and get centered, you'd actually be able to be a BETTER parent than you are now.

It was something to think about.

Point taken Michael. Again, I'm not asking about right or wrong. I am simply asking who here is doing it.I feel bad enough..

I understood the question - I am staying (right now) for the kids...