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how does one move on or try to put your life back together after u have been married with 2 kids for 16 years and your husband walks in one fine day, claims he's unhappy, decides to leave after speaking a whole lot of garbage and a few days later confesses to having a 'deep friendship' with another woman!! its been a year now that we have been seperated, i just filed for divorce a month ago, but emotionally, i am a wreck and mess and cannot understand how he could do this!

Hi, cmg123. my heart goes out to you. I don't know how you would start to put your life together again. I was not married for that long. But I believe you do this one day at a time. Just get through today, then tomorrow, then the next day. In good days, you will say to yourself everything will be ok in time, go for a walk or a jog. in bad days, you cannot even get out of bed...book stores have been my rescue. I just bury myself in books sometimes. Friends can give good support too. What about counseling? Be strong for your kids. Lots of us have been there and know it is not easy. But eventually you are the one have to walk through the valley of the death. hang in there and know that you are not alone.

yes, i am in counseling and trying to be strong for my kids who are 14 and 12! But managing a business, kids, a house, finances and then trying to put the pieces back of my own life are just about enuf for me! My kids have been my pillar of strength i guess without them i wouldn't have made it out of bed. But i don't have that luxury! Its just trying to put everything in the past, and move fwd! Coming to terms with it is the hardest as i think facing the reality that someone you have shared so many years with can treat you this way is just unfathomable to me! But he has and that is the harsh reality! And he thinks nothing of it.

I feel for you CMG123 and completely understand how awful it feels -- one word: devastating. But please hang on --- everyone tells me it will get better ---- I have no idea how it will because it sometimes feels like my heart is being crushed. But they all say it will get better. My big problem is there's a huge VOID that overwhelms me at times no matter how much I keep myself busy.

CMG123 - your children need to see you grieve so that they know that they can too. But they also need to see their mom move on and become a happy and fulfilled woman in her own right so that they know that they can move on too.

I have just gone through a very similar situation and it took me about a year to really get to a point where I could be around my ex without my heart being affected. Now I just see him as the father of my child and a "friend" I could never trust with my heart or my life.