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- Group admin:
- Wildthang
- Created:
- August 29, 2008
- 146 Members
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- Helpful (160)
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- Inspirational (71)
From the original post:
2008-09-05 11:31:35.0
My younger brother, who is still married, going on 28 yrs always said that the world is full of lonely...
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Posted: Sep 5, 08 10:47pm
My younger brother, who is still married, going on 28 yrs always said that the world is full of lonely people, even the married ones. Lonely is a state that we fall into, whether we want to or not. I was married for 20 yrs, adored my wife, two beautiful daughters and a nice home. But my wife was unhappy because she felt we got married too young and she wanted to fly. I opened the door and let her fly, after her affair, but it was like a dagger in my heart. Three yrs later I got married on the rebound and it lasted a yr. I married a nurse that needed a sugar daddy and I fell for it. It was difficult divorcing her, without giving her my future earnings (she wished). Now I see couples that seem so happy and I long for companionship. I take care of my 89 yr old father and I am just existing. I don't call it living because of the lonely routine, day in and day out. I have great love and admiration for my dad who brought me up to love, work, respect others, help everybody and give of myself till it hurts. I am well educated and retired from the Federal Government (Army civilian and military). As we enter our sixties, it scares the hell out of me that I may live out the rest of my life alone. I know that there are others out there like me, but for us baby boomers it is not easy to go out and find them. God help us all!
Man I feel for you bud. I haven't gone through half the stuff you have but have had several close friends who have. They always tell me the secret was to get out there. Some of them are happier now, some are still searching. The one thing I have learned in my 41 years of life is humans all crave contact. I wish you all the best!
Posted: Sep 5, 08 11:46pm
I am surprise about reading what you said just like if I said it myself, and I want to tell you something that I belive. Dress up everyday like if you have a date, and remember that nothing last forever. Loneliness included. Trust yourself
Posted: Sep 6, 08 9:16am
That's great advice. Whenever I felt lonely I would take more pride in my appearance. Great self-confidence booster!
Posted: Sep 6, 08 11:21am
For me, loneliness is a symptom of an internal issue. When I'm feeling lonely, it usually means I don't like me. The challenge then becomes resuming self-love, the lack of which seems to be the root of all my unhappiness.
Or... I just take a nap until the feeling passes... LOL
Posted: Sep 6, 08 3:45pm
it scares the hell out of me that I may live out the rest of my life alone.
I understand, you are not the person that can be happy living by himself. When my best friend died, I told her husband that I wished that he did not stay alone. He married my friend when both were 18 years old. In a couple of years he married again and he is very happy.
Just keep your eyes open. There are nice women out there.
Posted: Sep 6, 08 6:12pm
Sometimes I think you just have to put yourself "out there" & trust that whatever effort you put into people will eventually reap the reward you're looking for... in this case easing the loneliness.
Hi Edwin, I started to write a really long post explaining how I understand how you feel…. Anyway it got so long that I wouldn’t even read it. So here is the Readers Digest version:
I know from a personal experience how hard it is and how lonely it can be when caring for a parent. It was a good move for you to choose TBD to jump into the social fray, as you can tell from the people who posted to your question you will be able to make connections here – I’m not saying that you will meet a companion to spend the rest of your life with, but there are nice people here, people you may be able to connect with, people to talk to… to summarize I agree with Kelley – sometimes you just have to put yourself out there; you’ve taken a great first step, keep walking!
<Yep… this was the short version)
Posted: Sep 6, 08 7:34pm
elanor rigby here.
i agree it is not easy to be alone. i was married 22 years. i thought we'd stay together forever. now, on an unhealthy day, i will not eat at the table, watch a movie, go to a special event because the phantom partner is with me and he has no substance. the joy of sharing simple pleasures is completely stripped from simple activities rendering them bland to painful.