Great story Brian. Has she been able to resolve the divisiveness that she witnessed to the cohesiveness with which she has been raised?

Thanks, Jacquin. Well, I just hope that the lesson she takes away from it is that those were good people and that she needs to expand her idea of inclusiveness to include them. Intolerance is hard to tolerate and that's a paradox she will continue to wrestle with.

When we broaden our scope and take the perspective that there is value in each person and what they bring to the table we also, in my opinion, must try to make sure that we are careful of the influence that we allow others to have. I think that tolerance is fine as long as someone is not put in the position of having to accept the positions another holds and be influenced by those positions if they are in contrast with our own views and moral standings. Hope that made sense.

Hi Jacquin - makes sense. We should be open to others' ideas but not naively or blindly so. Note, however, that you have said (if we turn it around and imagine someone listening to you) that no one should be influenced by your positions if they are in contrast with their own views and moral standings. That sounds a bit too closed-minded, I think you would agree. Maybe more like 'one needs to test new ideas in light of one's existing views and moral standings'.

This is the kind of stuff that strains the brain. Yes, I do think there is such a thing as bad and dangerous ideas, but I think the way forward in most cases is to try to love the person even when you don't like the idea. Otherwise, it will be Hatfields and McCoys for all eternity.

Brian,

Your clear, unfettered and eloquent writing is always a pleasure to read. You are gifted, in many ways. Thank you for this thoughtful essay.

- akabukowski

Baptists are monotheists. They believe what they believe. No one should be shocked to hear them espouse this; especially in their own house of worship.

It seems to me your daughter is free to believe whatever she chooses. If she were to become a fundamentalist Christian. If she were to become born again and assert there is room for only one God in the universe, would you be comfortable and accpeting of her decision?

dl thompson, that's a good question. Hypotheticals are tough, but I'll take a shot. I think I could be accepting of a religious conversion and most of what would go along with that. I would have no trouble with her belief of only one God in the universe. There is a point at which it could get very difficult for me, though. And that is if she espoused a variety of Christianity (or other religion) that really divides people into Us and Them, and devalues people who don't believe as they do. Some Christian churches do, some don't.

I can't claim, therefore, to be accepting of all belief systems. I have some core values that I hold pretty firmly and if a system of belief is quite clearly in violation of these values I just can't accept that part of the faith. In extreme cases, some expressions of a religion become downright dangerous and must be resisted.

I know families in which a child has had the kind of conversion you postulate, and where the child really thinks their parent (a seemingly good person) is going to Hell. Not an easy thing for a parent to deal with - or a child, I would imagine.

I wonder about my rendition of my daughter's story. I tried to not say that one way of thinking was right and the other wrong. I couldn't really tell the story without reported the kind of school my daughter went to, and from that a reader can deduce where my values are. But if a Southern Baptist were to read that story and think that I had twisted anything, or made Baptists look bad, I'd like to hear about it and would try to change the story.