Groups > Parents of Adult Children

Having just gone through a very "challenging" Christmas with my son and his girlfriend I have now have new outlook on parenting adult children. Taking a position or "tuff love" is often viewed by the child as controlling behavior, disrespecting their adulthood. Enabling doesn't allow them to learn for themselves. A solution? Put your own needs aside....a way to manage the interaction. LIsten and respect them as you would any adult you would talk to. Realize that in some ways the adult child has matured. In other ways they are still children. The challenge for the parent is to recognize the disparity and adapt the parenting style to not be controlling, threatening or disrespectful. Engage with them with a clear end game or result in mind. In my case my goal was to re-establish communication. This will help you keep your own emotions in check and not revert back to speaking from your hurt or disappointment. Speak from a position of love, not reationary emotionalism. All I can say is that I tried this yesterday and was extraordinarily successful in reaching my goal. Time will tell what will happen next but, the impasse has been broken down. Good luck.