And most of us want to live forever young too, but you have to deal with what you've got. You have a husband who keeps on relapsing and a child to protect. Find a support group of spouses of users and get there to hear others' stories. That might give you the motivation to leave or lock him out.

I know it's not easy to give up on a dream but it is necessary.

I left my husband who is an addict. My children are very young and believe me I don't want to be single, but I knew I didn't want the abuse, the madness, the insanity that surrounds addiction. You know what I mean, and only you can know what that means. You have to decide what kind of life you want to live. Don't make any rash decisions. Al-anon is a good place to start. Be good to yourself. Find the strength and hope to do what is good for you and your child. Accept support and love. You need it and deserve it. I feel for you from the bottom of my heart. I send only hope and love your way and hope you will make the right decision for yourself. It is not easy.