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- Group admin:
- Erica
- Created:
- August 2, 2007
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From the original post:
2008-09-25 07:51:30.0
Do you fantasize about someone else when you are getting down with your partner? Is it a problem if you do?...
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Posted: Sep 25, 08 10:20am
I don't have absolutes. My preference is that my partner and I are engaged with each other and fully focused. But in the real world I've been with non-communicative partners, and I have an intensely creative mind, so it it's not being stimulated it will go on auto-pilot and random thoughts will pop in.
Having said that, I will also say that sex creates a great time for exploring consciousness. So my "thoughts" are often in the neighborhood of primal sensory input, seeing colors, thinking about how wonderful the universe is, being grateful for my love, etc.
Posted: Sep 25, 08 11:22am
Never fantacized about someone else...Oh wait...someone else joining us! Does that count?
Posted: Sep 25, 08 11:28am
Never did that I want the here and now. I rather ravish in the person I'm with and fantasize when I am alone.
Posted: Sep 25, 08 3:09pm
I saw a really nice lady for a while (after the divorce), and we both got on very well as friends (still do). When things developed sexually she didn't really turn me on (hey, I probably didn't for her either, who's to know really), so although I wanted to be with her as a friend I needed to visualise someone else 'who did' do it for me.
Tony, if any of this rings a bell I'd personally encourage you to talk to you wife (who you obviously love) to see if she might be interested in making things 'more interesting; for you both. After all, she might well be thinking of someone else too and this may be a great opportunity for you both to figure out some fun games.
Just my two cents worth....
Posted: Sep 25, 08 4:14pm
I saw a really nice lady for a while (after the divorce), and we both got on very well as friends (still do). When things developed sexually she didn't really turn me on (hey, I probably didn't for her either, who's to know really), so although I wanted to be with her as a friend I needed to visualise someone else 'who did' do it for me.
Tony, if any of this rings a bell I'd personally encourage you to talk to you wife (who you obviously love) to see if she might be interested in making things 'more interesting; for you both. After all, she might well be thinking of someone else too and this may be a great opportunity for you both to figure out some fun games.
Just my two cents worth....
Thanks for the concern accelerator. But its not necessary. The fantasizing I do is in addition to my wife, not in spite of her. I don't need or have to fantasize to get it on with my wife and she hasn't mentioned having to with me. I have a very sexually oriented mind. I tend to think about sex maybe 20 out of a 24 hour day. All those instances are not about my wife but she is the beneficiary.
And just to let people know, I don't ask all these questions just because they are germane to my own situation. I am a very curious guy, (Maybe its the Scorpion in me). I call myself a lay sociologist (No I don't mean THAT kind of lay, LOL!). I like to know what makes people tick. So whereas some subjects may refer to my circumstance, the majority do not. In this particular case, sometimes I like to fantasize, It does not denote any less yearning for my wife. Thanks.