All of the posts here are good and I concur but I hate to throw one other thing in but I wouldn't feel right if I just didn't. There could be another possibility here and that is transgenderism. It might help if you son talks to his step-son's mom about the materials found and also to find out about his step-son's past. Has he ever shown signs of desiring "girl" things, clothing especially. I throw this is only because that is far more serious than being gay. It is something that I child will hide forever if they can, many end up suicidal because of it. Nothing has to be said to the boy about it, just some background info with his mom. For those who would wonder why he is looking at "gay" material it could be that he is trying to figure out if that is the "problem". My ex-husband was born transgendered. He shared with me all of the pain and one of the things he did was look at gay material trying to figure out what the problem was. He knew that wasnt the problem; married twice and had 4 kids. Push came to shove very late in life and he tried killing himself over it. He is now a she and happy but sad as well because she had to give up so much to be who she was all along. If it can be handle when the child is a teen, that child will have a happy, fulfilling life ahead of him/her. Beyond that, he is only 12 and things are just getting started for him hormonally and he can just be curious.

I like this post, one should be aware of the predators out there, not all of them are easily recognizable. Also, curiosity does not necessarily mean sexual orientation.

He is 12, he is curious. What he needs now more than ever is understanding, support and education. Be there for him, and all will be well.

Don't go jumping to conclusions. I was reading the obits this morning but I'm not planning to die. Yesterday, I perused the social ads on Craig's List. I am not planning to leave my wife or even cheat on her!

Why do you and your son assume that just because a 12 year old shows curiosity that he is gay? The world is full of information - always was. In my day they had these gadgets called books in a place called a library. I know Sarah Palin wants to burn them all but they are there. Now all the information in the owrld is a click away on the net.

Before getting your knickers in a twist, your son should talk to the kid's mother. After all, she is the blood parent, not him. Then, if she is concerned, they should ask their kid if there is any reason he is looking at gay material. He may just have learned something in school or out of school that triggered his curiosity.

I'm not Catholic but I have been to services in a Catholic church. I didn't convert even though the priest was one of my best buddies in childhood. We even has canapes on holy wafers! I didn't get consecrated. I did get constipated!

I've hugged gay people as their therapist. I didn't get an erection! I've been closely associated with people who have AIDS in the same capacity. I am still disease free although I did manage to contract diabetes from eating too many Dove Bars!

Let up. You know nothing about what is going on in a twelve year old's head until you ask politely! He may not even know why he was looking.

Tell me, did you ever look at porn on your computer? Tell the truth. Did it cause you to go marry a porn star?

Never panic unless you catch him in flagrante delicto with Rock Hudson or ... Errol Flynn.

A very close friend called me about 5 years ago expressing concern of this very thing. (Internet/magazines) SHe called me knowing that I'd have a bit of insight because I have a gay brother. I remember telling her of all the things she can do is to be sure, without a doubt, that he knows she and hubby accept him no matter. Had my parents not been as accepting as they were with my brother, I truly believe he may not be here now as he was suicidal at the time he came out. My friend is a beautiful person. Extremely loving and she and her son are very close. Not sure how the father was handling all of this. She has never brought it up to me since. He's now in college and doing well it seems. A very popular young man with everyone who comes to know him, adoring him. My daughter has shared with me a bit of his partying reputation, drinking a lot. It worries me and I want to talk to my friend about this. Just don't know how to do it. I keep waiting for her to talk to me again... As many here have said, communication and understanding are paramount. The earlier the better. If you could find someone (professional) for him to share his thoughts with, it would be wonderful. (of course if he is receptive to this) This is what I'd do. I'd intervene as soon as possible. Teenage years suck! :) Sorry, but my kids went through so much as it was. I can not imagine having this on top of everything else. Good luck to you. I commend you for reaching out and wanting to help your grandson.

I agree with those who favor being supportive. The gays I know are great people, just as the heteros I know are great people. the commonality here is that they are all people. And everyone needs love and support

support, love, and open conversation. don't let him know that you found something under his mattress, that will just breed distrust. You have to find a non-threatening way to bring it up.

I have a 12 year old son as well, All I can say is that I wouldn't brand him gay just yet. At this young age, he probably has no idea who he is. The first ideas may be that of his own body, therefore he's entertained by the thought of that. Then again, tomorrow may be different. I WOULD go over the birds and the bees a to z with him, so he can conceptualize the hetrosexual side too, and not encourage any actions gay or straight.... he's only 12. While I have no issues with gay people (my dear aunt is gay) I would very much try to steer my son in the right direction. It's my obligation.