My first wife wanted me to undergo a vasectomy in my middle thirties. A couple of years later, we divorced. After a few years, I married the woman who turned out to be the Mother of my son. Had I consented to a vasectomy, he wouldn't have happened and when this marriage fell apart and I ended up with custody of my son, I would have had nothing to show for 19 years torn out of my life.

I think you were dealing with a committment problem there. Nascissist, I am not sure I would agree with you. Someone who cannot make a decision or a committment, yeah.

I think you are better off without him. If you are comfortable with not having any or anymore kids, you might go forth with your procedure. That will cull out the disconnects in the future.

I guess I should have added the narcissist part is also a whole other discussion as well. He talked the talk alot, but never walked the walked. Plus, the stories he told me; one that comes to mind is that every week, for five years, (i kid you not) he could have gotten a promotion at his work; and would have to move to another state, but the love of his life (which i thought was me, but I'm convinced now it was his daughter) made him stay in his current state. This is ONE example of MANY, MANY BS stories I bought at the time, but NO MORE!!! Thanks for commenting..JacksDad...

If you are thinking of getting a tubal ligation, then be sure you are making the decision for yourself. It is also a difficult one to make if you aren't in a relationship.

I chose to have one after being in a married relationship for 10 yrs. It was a joint decision after discussing lots of options, and because I didn't see why it is a man always has to have the Vasc. But that was my personal choice.

I don't have any regrets because it was the right decision for me... but give it plenty of thought before you make the choice about whether children do/don't fit in your life. ;^)

I'm not saying a man should be forced to have a vasectomy, but at the age of 51, how many more children was he planning to have anyway? Oh yeah, one to save the devil's spawn's life. And by the way, as I'm sure you realize, if you had stayed with him, you would be the one who would have had to get pregnant to do this.

As for his promotion that never was because the love of his life kept him in the state, I'm betting that was you, not his daughter. Because that was a guilt ploy. If it was because of his daughter, he would have said "because I can't leave her".

You are better off without him. Enjoy your freedom and your pets.

thanks...that is exactly what I am trying to do. If I had all day, I could tell stories that everyone would say...what is wrong with her...why did she stay with him...in short..he was a very charming man, when if fit his objectives. It just took me about 4 years to figure it out and 1 year to confirm it. Just to be able to type this and have feedback is already helping my depressed state!!!!

Not that I noticed the OP's birthdate, but if he's 51 now, he was 46 when this discussion began. It's certainly OK to have the big snip at that point!

Sadly, he sounds like a heel. If you would have gotten pregnant, hw would have found a way to disappear faster than roaches when the kitchen light is turned on.

I love that expression! And it's so true. He was scared to have it done. That's fine as long as he's honest about it. But he wasn't. And if you'd gotten pregnant, he would have run like the wind.