Ten Tips for Changing Bad Habits

How Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Can Help

SusanWrona

Posted: Oct 22, 07 4:26pm

Editor's Note: Here at TeeBeeDee, we are very fortunate to have members with incredible experience. SusanWrona is one of them. She is a nurse-psychotherapist and nurse-practitioner with a private practice in southern Oregon. Susan bridges the traditional world of medicine with the broader holistic methods and processes toward healing. She is also a poet and the author of a book of poems, Radiant Cup. We're hoping she can inspire you to break some bad habits and establish some good ones.

What Is Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy?

It's a relatively short-term, focused psychotherapy for a wide range of psychological problems including depression, anxiety, anger, loneliness, panic, eating disorders, etc. The focus of the therapy is on how you are thinking, behaving, and communicating today, rather than on your early childhood experiences. Cognitive-behavioral therapy helps people learn effective self-help skills that change their thinking, feelings, and behaviors in the here and now.

Ten Tips for Change:

1. Schedule the Worrying:
Worry easily fills up your mental space, creates anxiety, and consumes your energy and attention. Schedule a time to worry--say at 2:30 pm daily for one-half hour. When a worrisome thought arises at other times of the day, remind yourself you're making time for that at 2:30 and will give the worry your full attention at that time. Then get on with the task at hand.

2. Put a Stop to the "What If's":
Do you engage in "what if" thinking? If so, you probably feel anxious as a result. Your brain follows your thoughts. Typically, "what if" thinkers muse on and on about their topic, which activates adrenaline, which then leads to a stress response. To address this, you have two options:

1. Answer the question so your brain can experience a conclusion or outcome to the thought; or
2. tell yourself that "what if" has not happened yet and then bring yourself back to the present moment.

3. Just do it!
Beyond being a marketing message, these words reflect quite succinctly the necessity of moving beyond your thinking, your emotions, and any resistances when it comes to exercise or engaging in an activity. Just ignore your mind's excuses and reasons and simply get out of bed, brush your teeth, brush your hair, get your gym clothes on, and go out the door. Do not read the paper or check your email; do not let your mind-chatter begin before you have taken action.

4. Make Better Use of the "What If's":
Remember "what if" thinking? If you are an emotional eater, try to tune into yourself as you reach for the sugar/carbohydrate laden food. Ask yourself: "What if I eat this?" Then answer the question. Also ask yourself, "What if I don't eat this, just this time?" Answer the question. Then determine what your action will be.

5. Discover Your Triggers:
Emotional eating? So, what is the emotion that rose up and brought you to the refrigerator? Try placing hand-made notes to yourself on your fridge or pantry doors that encourage you to sit down and write about what you are feeling before you can eat. You can still eat what you want, but you need to write about your feelings first. The goal is to get in better touch with why you use eating to soothe yourself.

6. Use "and" Instead of "but":
If you listen to yourself, you might find that you often have sentences strung around a "but." For example: "I really shouldn't eat this, but I am just so upset!" Guess what? When we use the word "but," our mind only processes the last part of the phrase and negates the first part. When we use the word "and" our mind opens to the possibility that both parts of the phrase are true. That difference can make a huge impact on what is going on. "I really shouldn't eat this and I am upset." Now you will deal with both parts of the equation and not discount the first part of the phrase, or use it as a rationale to continue a problematic pattern.

7. Try Predicting Your Pleasure or Pain:
Try thinking about how satisfying or unsatisfying an event or action will be from 0% to 100%. For example: "If I go and exercise, I know I will feel better by 80%," or "If I eat this whole box of cookies, there's an 80% chance I'll have a stomach ache." Record your predictions when you make them, then assess your predictive abilities.

8. Take Note of the Meaning you Make:
Let's say a normally friendly person in your office is aloof and distant one day. You may think any one of the following: "She must be having a bad day." "What on earth is wrong with her!?" or, "What did I do to make her angry?" Make a note as to which meaning you assign to the situation. The truth is, unless you ask, you don't know what's behind the behavior of another person. If you make angry or hurtful meanings, you will have a stress response, and whatever meaning you make, you act on it as if it were true. So be cognizant, get more information, and examine your thinking.

9. Change "Why" to "How":
If you ask a child or teenager, "why on earth did you do that?" they literally don't know. However, when we are adults, it seems odd to admit "I don't know why." For example, "I don't know why I don't get out for a walk every other day." Here is your challenge: When the question comes up, don't stay in that "why" mode. Ask yourself: "How do I feel? What do I want?" "How" and "what" are more likely to get us closer to what underlies our behaviors than "why."

10. Change Your Position:
When you are feeling anxious, angry, or hurt, do two things. First, change your position--if you are sitting, stand up; move to a different location in the room. Changing our position, or posture, definitely changes our state of being. Then, take three slow, deep breaths. This intervenes in our usual anxiety response which causes us to breath more shallowly; it grounds us, gives us time and space to determine a response rather than having a reaction.