Premature Ejaculation: Sex Therapy Beats Drugs

MichaelCastleman

Posted: Aug 1, 07 2:42pm

Forty years ago, pioneering sex researchers William Masters, M.D. and Virginia Johnson, invented sex therapy by developing a simple, effective program that cured the number one sex problem for men, premature ejaculation (PE). But today, physicians are more likely to prescribe antidepressant medication. I wish doctors knew that drugs are not the best treatment.

The drugs work, sort of. When the SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) antidepressants were introduced (Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, etc.), many people complained of sexual side effects, loss of libido, delayed orgasm, or inability to have orgasms. In men, delayed orgasm meant lasting longer. Drug makers began urging doctors to take advantage of this side effect to treat PE.

But the drugs don't work that well. SSRIs typically delay ejaculation several minutes. And that's a far cry from "all night long." The drugs also cause other side effects like nausea, headache, diarrhea, libido loss, and erection impairment.

The sex therapy program for lasting longer increases the sensuality of sex. It takes pressure off the penis by spreading erotic stimulation around the man's entire body. In other words, it teaches men the value of whole-body massage. One of women's leading complaints about the way men make love is that it's too focused on the genitals. Many women prefer sex that's based on whole-body massage. The sex therapy approach to lasting longer shows men women's preferred approach to lovemaking is also good for them.

The non-drug approach works better and causes no side effects. It's also preferable for other reasons:

• It's cheaper. In my experience, all most men need is a book that explains the sex therapy approach to this problem. You can check out my book, Great Sex (Rodale), or Coping with Premature Ejaculation by Michael Metz, Ph.D, and Barry McCarthy, Ph.D. (New Harbinger).
• It's more empowering. Drugs just delay ejaculation. They don't teach men anything about themselves or about lovemaking. But when men learn to last longer without drugs, they feel empowered. They gain self-esteem. And when people feel better about themselves, they enjoy better sex.
• It's better for the relationship. When the man pops a pill, there is no change in the couple's intimacy. Using the non-drug approach, both lovers are working together to teach the man to last longer. Working together on an intimate problem enhances the couple's intimacy.
• It's better for sex. Drugs don't change the way couples make love.

If self-help doesn't quite do it, you might want to try sex therapy. In most cases, sex therapists can help men (and couples) resolve this problem in a few months of weekly appointments. To find a therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists at www.aasect.org. (Click the map, and get a list of all the AASECT-certified sex therapists in your state or Canadian province.)

Sex therapists estimate that they can successfully teach 95 percent of men to last as long as they'd like without drugs. But if you're one of the five percent who needs medication, try it. Unfortunately, many doctors view drugs as the first-choice treatment. Actually, drugs should be the last resort.