Caramel? Or Crunchy Frog?

Posted: Apr 14, 08 2:41am

We all know that Forrest Gump’s mom always said, "Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."

We also know that John Cleese said, “If people place a nice chocky in their mouth, they don't want their cheeks pierced.”

There is a certain amount of risk involved in any box of chocolates. There are steps that can be taken however, to secure the taste that you want without ending up with a Monty Pythonesque mouthful of lark’s vomit.

Undoubtedly, there’s always one particular flavor that we’re hoping for when we are faced with a choice between the 30 or so squarish light and dark brown morsels.

Looking at the box we begin an analytical process. My first priority is to scout out and isolate the one that is most likely to be coconut. That one is to be avoided.

The perfectly round ones are usually creams. These can be tolerable if there is a tall cup of black coffee nearby to help wash it down, but they are usually not the center of choice.

Perfectly square…caramel. That’s a given.

The ones that look like peanut butter cups…rarely are.

What’s with those jelly things?

To be honest, the ones I like to go for are easy to spot. Toffee. They are flat and rectangular and there’s almost always two of them. It’s almost like you’re getting something for free, except of course you paid for it if you purchased the box, and if you didn’t…then they’re all free.

There’s no requirement that you actually eat the chocolate once you’ve bitten into it and discovered it is not to your liking, but I’ve found that spitting it back out into its compartment…even though it’s clearly separated from the others…is frowned upon by the people who haven’t yet made their choice. If the box is being shared by others and you don’t want to run the risk of eliciting an unwelcome regurgitation, the more congenial method of exploring your options is to dig your finger into the back of it being exceptionally careful not to crack the crown of the sweet. That way, if it is not to your liking, you can always replace it with very little outward evidence that it has been examined.

This is the question I put to you: What flavor do you search for when offered your choice of these assorted confections? Perhaps none of the existing flavors are to your liking, so what would you put inside that fragile chocolate shell?

If you like you may expound on this by using it as an analogy for the things that you hope to achieve in life…but probably just keeping it as a box of chocolates would be more fun.