Have the Words "Thank You" Gone Out of Style?

I agree in that good manners make for a happier, friendlier society. Why does it seem that many do not have basic manners? There are lots of reasons, I suppose. Lots of cultures colliding here in AZ, people are absorbed in their own horrific problems, there is a lot of anger (an emotion which masks fear/an extremely poor self image/feelings of worthlessness) etc. Excuses, yes. It does not make the lack of manners acceptable.

However, I also feel individuals often demand "thanks" to an extreme. You have to ask yourself why. To extend a courtesy, to give a gift, to go out of your way...all should be done without the need for compensation of ANY kind, including the "thank you." Hey, I'm as guilty of doing that as the next guy, but it's not right.

I had a couple for dinner on Saturday. My friend brought wine, homemade lemoncello, a kitchen gadget, and a gag gift. I thanked her in person for each gift, but I neglected to actually open the wine bag which was not right. The next morning I sent my friend an email thanking her for the MERLOT...and listed the other things as well. Well, I listed everything but the lemoncello. She sent a message back, saying, "You're welcome for the wine, kitchen gadget, fun toy, and the lemoncello."

I felt terrible. In my email I had forgotten to mention the lemoncello which took her a while to make and of which she was proud. I felt SO bad. I felt SO bad.

But...

Sometimes when I open doors for ladies they say absolutely nothing. Like it's expected.

But mostly they thank me.

I say "thank you" a lot expecially in restaraunts to the service staff. Those folks work hard for the money!

I always say "thanks" for any kindness, thoughtfulness, or good service.

I also make a point of saying "you did a very good job" to waitresses, flight attendants and others who deserved public praise. In exceptional circumstances, I either speak to the manager, in the waiter's presence, or write a note. These people never forget!

Laura

The one I find missing is you're welcome, normally I hear no problem after I thank someone.

Laura27:

I truly feel you on this one.....

I've had the same complaint for many years now. I guess it's all about upbringing.

Being taught at a very young age to say "Thank you", "please", and to address my elders as "Mr" or "Mrs", I find it difficult knowing that there are so many uncourteous people in our society.

I was taught to reach out and help others when in need. For this reason, it took many years for me to understand why others were not like me.

I finally concluded that it's all about upbringing, and possibly due to the influx of various cultures and social beliefs that have migrated into the country.

However, what's extremely irritating is our younger generation that have no clue about courtesy, being respectful, being gracious, or even exhibiting some etiquette.

I remember, several years back, I saw a young man (about 15 y/o) standing in line at a gas station. As I stood behind him, I noticed that his pants were hanging way below is butt. Having never seen this before, I simply thought he lost his belt. So I politely whispered "sweetie, it appears that your pants are falling. You might want to pull them up".

He turned around and said F*** You Bit**, then walked out of the station!!

Another interesting story is about my half sister.

She has 3 kids, had just got divorced, and her husband took their vehicle. Having no way to get the kids to school or get to work, she desparately needed a vehicle. So, she asked my Mom, who had retired from GM, if she could get a GM discount. Although she shouldn't have because she wasn't considered immediate family, my Mom felt sorry and extended her GM discount.

That was six years ago. To this very day she has never phoned my mother to say "Thank you".

I don't know what the solution is.

Should we also become as arrogant as those around us to simply blend in, or continue with our beliefs and accept that some people are just very different?

I'm not sure there is a solution for this!

Bull .. I'm afraid I'm guilty of this myself. I've been told I don't say 'You're welcome' enough. I'm good with Thank You and the rest of my manners, but I forget to say Your Welcome. I'm getting better.

I raised my kids to always say Please and Thank You and they are quite good at it. But, I have noticed the younger generation seems to be lacking here. I feel it is the responsibility of the parents to teach their children good manners. Of course, that doesn't always mean kids will follow through but it should start at home. I was brought up that way .. didn't hurt me none!

I have personally seen my son, who is 22years old, wait by a door to hold it open for someone. It makes me very proud.

I used to stew over this same issue. I realized one day that I was focusing on the people who did not say thank-you and completely ignoring the ones who did.

I made a point of watching for the ones who were polite and who did smile, extend thanks or wave through the rear view. I was amazed a how many wonderful people I had overlooked while concentrating on the ones who didn't.

I was taking them for granted.