Painting Hell: Tips Needed

TIE, I am so glad you brought this up. I am facing the same task myself and cannot imagine it going well. You are doing better than me . . . I just walk by the cans of paint quickly and sigh. . . .

I did that for two years. Every once in a while I'd turn the can over so that the solids wouldnt settle. Time passes, I get idolistic, now I'm covered with the slime forever. There has GOT to be a better way!

The better way is pay a pro to do it. Since we painted only two times in the twelve years we have had the house - once when we bought it and this year - the cost per year is not that much. We have no kids to get fingerprints on anything and we live carefully - no spaghetti thrown at the walls and no projectile vomiting on the ceiling. Also we don't smoke so the house doesn't get yellowed from tars. After twelve years, the paint was still passable but best to do it a year too soon than a year too late when they have to scrape and sand first. Another trick: We used the same colors we used the first time so there was no need for more than 2 coats anywhere.

And, I saved my back, my clothes, the carpets and the houseplants. These guys were finished in three days and out. They used no-odor paint and I was happy to pay the extra ten dollars a gallon x about 8 gallons of paint. So, we were able to sleep in the house during the work. Also, we have several rooms that have wall paper part way up the walls and they didn't get a drop of paint on anything. They also did the baseboards, the doors, the windowsills and the ceilings. If I had stood still for five minutes they probably would have painted me.

I have one tip you can use today:

Get a product called Goof Off. it's made to remove latex paint splatters, even old ones.

I like painting a room every once in awhile. Here's way TMI about painting.

Pull out all the lamps, pillows, small bookshelves, curtains, etc.

Remove switch plates and all those electrical fixtures and lower the light fixtures in the ceiling.

Get some paint tape--the blue or green kind, not masking tape. The thick kind is handy. Tape off the light switches, the mouldings around the doors, the windows. There's sheets of plastic with tape along the edge that's perfect for windows. It clings. Put that on the glass. Tape off the edge of the ceiling. You'll still get an irregular line but it won't be unmanageable. Press the edge of the tape down with some kind of blunt, straight-edged tool. It won't stick well to a dusty wall so try wiping first if that's the case.

Put tarps on the floor. We have some old drapes. I love those big, thick sheets of canvas they sell at home depot, but i haven't bought any. Next time for sure. They lay there obediently and don't let paint thru. I use plastic but I don't like it because the paint falls on it and won't dry and then you step in it.

Consider using eggshell or flat paint. It hides flaws in the walls and it makes the light diffuse softly. It isn't wipeable, so it's not for the kitchen or bath but it's nice in a bedroom.

Paint the walls in a W direction. Pull off the tape, gather it all up, throw it out, pull up the tarp, screw the wall plates back on, and you're good.

Alternatives:

If you hate painting and you are a smoker, consider that yellow tar look as a "patina" and simply get new fabrics in that are a similar matte texture and muted colors.

Go for the Jackson Pollock effect by putting paint in squirt bottles like the ones they put ketchup and mustard in. Then study one of his paintings and imitate it by squirting paint all over, randomly and uniformly.

Get lower wattage bulbs in your lamps so you can hardly see the walls at all.

Shred your curtains. Put in dried flowers. Drape some black blankets and get black vases and pillows. It's your new goth look.

A subject close to my heart.

First job I ever had was painting. I was taught by an expert, who threatened my job if he caught me with masking tape, said: "that's for people who are not painters, you eyeball the edges and you get them good".

My wife has learned of my skill and I am forever employed painting rooms of my house.

Keeping the splatter off the floor is just plain old slow work and patience with the roller and brush. Roll very, very slow with little paint on the roller. Buy rollers that don't shed, they're expensive but worth it. Put on some mellow music, fill up the vodka and add estimated time to the project rather than trying to speed it up. Or, like some excellent advice here, hire a pro. This has its advantages, like your time being free. This is also very important to me. To my wife? She could care less if my time is free.

Definate on the vodka. This is TheInquiringEye's Budget Paint Plan:

1.Mix up a jug of martinis

2. Pour paint in tray.

3. Take off all your clothes.

4. Sit in tray (Fun with friends)

5. Make your own 'whimsical designs.

God, I hate to paint.

I'm normally an avid do-it-yourselfer, but hiring a pro to paint my place was the best money I ever spent!