Me, Dancing

Posted: May 18, 08 4:17pm

I can’t sing. Never could, never will. I’ve accepted it. You’ve heard the one about the child in the church choir who is instructed to just mouth the words? That was me. Though scientists now contend that no one is inherently tone deaf, I am here to prove them wrong.

I wouldn’t say I am much of a dancer, either, being fairly rhythm-challenged. My abysmal early performance in tap class was not entirely due to unwillingness to practice. Yet having lived for decades with two left feet, I am convinced that somewhere in me lurks a natural, uninhibited dancer just waiting to be released. If not by a charming prince, which I am much too old to believe it, then by a magic potion. In fact, this actually happened. Just once, on a remote Caribbean island named Jost van Dyke.

One day while on vacation there, I hired a local named Patrick to take me to a nearby reef where I could snorkel. Patrick’s boat was an old, broken-down looking Boston Whaler, but I figured it probably would last another afternoon. On our way back, however, the propeller fell off. After drifting a while (and having a friendly conversation), Patrick and I got a tow to the harbor from a 12-year-old on his way home in a wooden dinghy with the groceries.

Pretty much every night, the people on the island convene at Foxy's, Jost Van Dyke's legendary beach bar. Dirt floor. Live Reggae. And Painkillers. Foxy’s is famous for this rum cocktail, which lives up to its name. For me it only took two. Next thing, I was dancing barefoot with Patrick and moving as if I had spent my life on a Caribbean island. I couldn’t believe it and neither could Patrick, who had not formed a high opinion of the dancing abilities of tourists.

Sadly, the spell didn’t last. The next day I was back to being a self-conscious dancer, worried my partner will be sorry he asked. Still, I have the memory. And I have the recipe for Painkillers, which have proved a great hit with friends and have enlivened many a party. Maybe it’s the nutmeg. Fresh is best.

Painkiller recipe

Four parts pinapple juice, one part orange juice, one part "Coco Lopez" (sweetened cream of coconut), and dark rum to taste. Add nutmeg before serving.