Email Me at Your Own Risk

AnnBanks

Posted: Oct 29, 07 7:34am

If I email someone I don't necessarily expect to hear back right away. Maybe they are busy. Maybe they are in the middle of a break-up or a health crisis. Maybe their son was caught smoking pot and is about to be suspended from school. Maybe they're at a Buddhist retreat or in the middle of a good book. If what I want to communicate is vital, I can always pick up the phone.

I have noticed, though, that this is not everyone's expectation. Take an extra day to answer your personal email and half of your correspondents start to wonder if you're still breathing. Why is this? Back in the horse and buggy era, when people wrote letters, no one thought they had to be answered the second you got them. You had some time to get around to it.

There is no chance that this leisurely timetable will ever be applied to email communications. The accepted practice is, you get it, you answer it. And if you don't the person who sent it thinks that you do not like them anymore, or that you are dead.

So I am working on a new a "Away" message that will explain that I am not dead but merely taking an email holiday:

"Ann would really like to get back to you, but all of her circuits are temporarily busy. She is assisting other customers. She has no more available memory, and will resume communications when she has shut down some other operations. She's out of bandwidth and your message will have to wait until she has installed an optimizer, whatever that is."

In short, she is on overload. So, dear correspondents, would you be willing to help by going on an email diet? Nothing too stringent, just a few simple restrictions.

* If I have answered a question you asked in a previous email, it isn't necessary to write back and thank me. It is thanks enough not to have to open an email that simply says, "Thanks."

* No need to forward an article that appeared in a newspaper that I read everyday.

* If you are a member of my book club and you agree with a critical opinion that someone else has expressed in an email, it doesn't really add much to write back, "Me too"

* While I am delighted to be invited to your party, once is enough. I don't have to be reminded via evite.com who else is coming.

* And, finally, if we are both on the same email listserv, and you have something to say to one other member, please do not click "Reply All." "All" will thank you, especially me.

27 Comments // 19 Members

Posted: Oct 29, 07 8:38am

If I email someone I don't necessarily expect to hear back right away. Maybe they are busy. Maybe they are in the midd...

Great discussion! I note you didn't bother to include the forwarding of the tired old jokes that have been around twice, or the chain mails that require you to put your name on the bottom and forward it to 10 other people or you will have Bad Luck. This is a whole 'nother level of peeves that deserves its own space.

Posted: Oct 29, 07 9:41am

If I email someone I don't necessarily expect to hear back right away. Maybe they are busy. Maybe they are in the midd...

Although I respond instantly to emails (if I delay a day, something usually IS wrong), I want to add to your list of restrictions:

* Do not send me a warning/"news" about health or safety without first checking www.snopes.com. If you know me, I already worry disproportionately about cancer and safety -- I don't need my "friends" sending me scary stories that are, uh, not true. And I WILL "reply all" if you do it.

Heidi K
Heidi K
Founding Member

Posted: Oct 29, 07 9:49am

If I email someone I don't necessarily expect to hear back right away. Maybe they are busy. Maybe they are in the midd...

Thanks for bringing this up! Most of the time I don't respond to peoples emails right away... I usually take a few days unless I'm in the mood to respond. Sometimes I'm just thinking. It doesn't "mean" anything that I don't get back to someone right away. I've had people get upset with me... I'm just a turtle I guess! I like being a Turtle! :)

My Turtle friends at Greenlake!

My Turtle friends at Greenlake!

Posted: Oct 29, 07 10:16am

Although I respond instantly to emails (if I delay a day, something usually IS wrong), I want to add to your list of res...

LOL - My mother does that. I even put snopes on her favorites list so she could check them out herself but it hasn't worked. I then tried reason, IF a virus alert was something to warn the entire world about wouldn't McAfee have let her know? Instead of depending on the address book of some other little old lady she graduated from high school with back in 1940?

Posted: Oct 29, 07 10:40am

Although I respond instantly to emails (if I delay a day, something usually IS wrong), I want to add to your list of res...

Thank you!!! People respond like I am a real jerk for asking them to debunk yet ANOTHER fake "news" story by asking them to check snopes before emailing me any more alarmist junk mail....

All I ask for is a little responsibility before sounding the alarm.

Now, as to phone versus email, I have had to request no phone calls during working hours because of the overload I was getting. My paying jobs were suffering b/c that thing was ringing every five minutes, interrupting the flow. I am self-employed and need to concentrate. Just because I am home does not mean I am knitting.... This is also where my office is located.

I say, "if you will be kind enough to email me your request for lunch dates, sponsoring your child in a 5k, charitable contribution needs: I will email you at my first convenience." That might be today, and it might be tomorrow. Helpful?

Posted: Oct 29, 07 1:00pm

If I email someone I don't necessarily expect to hear back right away. Maybe they are busy. Maybe they are in the midd...

I have to mention that I did learn one invaluable thing from a mass email a friend of mine sent. There's a website called Catalog Choice where you can get off catalog mailing lists.

http://www.catalogchoice.org/#welcome

Posted: Oct 29, 07 1:25pm

If I email someone I don't necessarily expect to hear back right away. Maybe they are busy. Maybe they are in the midd...

Lots of excellent points being made here, Ann. Why doesn't somebody publish some E-mail etiquette guidelines?