Signs and more signs

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: 'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.' ************************** In a Podiatrist's office: Time Wounds All Heels. ************************** On a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday's Meals--on Wheels ************************** At a Proctologist's door: To expedite your visit, please back in. ************************** On a Plumber's truck: We Repair What Your Husband Fixed ************************** On another Plumber's truck: Don't sleep with a drip; Call your plumber! ************************** On a Church's Billboard: 7 days without God makes one weak. ************************** At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: Invite us to your next blowout. ************************** At a Towing company: We don't charge an arm and a leg: We want tows. ************************** On an Electrician's truck: Let Us Remove Your Shorts ************************** In a Nonsmoking Area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action. ************************** On a Maternity Room door: Push. Push. Push! ************************** At an Optometrist's Office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place. ************************** On a Taxidermist's window: We really know our stuff. ************************** On a Fence: Salesmen Welcome! Dog Food Is Expensive! ************************** At a Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet: miss a car payment. ************************** Outside a Muffler Shop: No appointment necessary; We hear you coming. ************************** In a Veterinarian's waiting room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay! ************************** At the Electric Company We will be de-lighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be. ************************** In a Restaurant window: Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up. ************************** In the front yard of a Funeral Home: Drive carefully! We'll wait... ************************** At a Propane Filling Station: Thank heaven for little grills. ************************** And don't forget the sign at a CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP: Best place in town to take a leak