Is the Golden Rule 'misstated'? How do I lower my expectations?

You can love any living creature.

Respect has to be earned.

Without respect love will fade.

I see the points you are making in a slightly different way. Firstly, I think of the Golden Rule as a guidline for acting, without expectations. I "do unto others ..." because I think it's the right thing to do. Not so they will treat me well in return.

Your revision is interesting and at first glance I think I like it. However, I think most people recognize respect and good intentions, even if they would have done things differently.

As for lowering your expectations in relationships, I would suggest you read "The Mastery of Love" by Don Miguel Ruiz.

The rule advises each of us to treat others as we would wish to be treated.

It does not say that if you do, you will be treated that way.

It suggests a way to live, not a contract with others

I think that is the golden rule. If you want to receive what 's meaningful you must care enough to give the other person what is meaningful to them. You gave meaningful; you get meaningful. If you only give what's meaningful to you, you may only get back what is meaningful to the other person.

Of course this works only if the other person has enough care and insight to know what you value and to try to provide it. That is often not the case. Even with good intentions, many cannot see the world from someone elses eyes.

Also, doing something for someone else is not a promise that you will get the same in return. The Golden rule simply let's you know that helping out the other guy by putting yourself in his/her place will most often yield the best results. You still have to figure out who is capable of giving back on a long term basis, if for no other reason, because in order to continue to give to others, we all need to get something back to refuel ourselves.

I always thought it was, "Do unto others, then run. Before the police get there." Hmmmm.

Since you're quoting from the Bible version, we've got to assume that God, who is perfect, commands us to do this, and without thought of compensation or return of the favor. Even though this applies to all people, it was written to Christians, who are also commanded to "love your neighbor as yourself" and "love your enemies".

None of the commandments are to be followed with the thought of receiving something good in return, but often that happens. Rarely do I smile at someone without getting a smile back in return.

Also, the Golden Rule is something we can all role model, so others can see how it is to be done, particularly our children.

I think you may have misinterpreted the rule. It states, "Do unto others AS you would have them do unto you. In other words, it is required of you to make the first advance of caring. It is not a selfish rule. If you don't get back what you offer, it allows you to declare victory and advance to the rear but never live by "an eye for an eye" philosophy.

The best you can get from living by the golden rule is a return in kind of what you lay out there. The worst is that you can move on. It doesn't require you to stay and get battered, it simply asks you not to be aggressive even against those who would bring harm to you. The one that causes you to get battered is "turn the other cheek."

I cannot say that I always follow the golden rule. As a practicing therapist, I do to the benefit of my client but when someone in my personal life treats me in a vile manner or who asks for my opinion, they may get it straight up and to heck with PC behavior!

I like the funnier one that came out of the ghetto. Don't make promises with your mouth that your wallet can't keep.

Good discussion topic!