Why We Men Never (should) Get Depressed

LanSr

Posted: Nov 23, 07 9:28pm

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED

Men Are Just Happier People. My last name stays put. The garage is all mine. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

I can be President. I can never be pregnant. I can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. I can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell me the truth. The world is my urinal. I never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

I don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character.

A wedding dress is $5,000 but a Tux rents for $100. People never stare at my chest when I'm talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. I know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. I can open all my own jars. I get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite me, he or she can still be my friend. My underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack (5 at the Dollar General). Three pairs of shoes are more than enough (black, brown, two-toned sneaker). New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle my feet. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons. I almost never have strap problems in public. I am unable to see wrinkles in my clothes.

Everything on my face stays its original color, unless I grow my beard - mouse is a color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades! I only have to shave my face and neck. I have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

I can play with toys all my life. My beer belly usually hides my hips. I can wear shorts no matter how my legs look. I can "do" my nails with a pocket knife, or my teeth.

I can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.

39 Comments // 26 Members

Posted: Nov 23, 07 10:11pm

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED

Men Are Just Happier People. My last name stays put. The garage is all mine. Wedding pla...

But at least when us women get pissed off we can blame it on our period/menopause or the lazy ass significant other. You on the other hand will be ordered by a female judge to attend anger management classes.

Posted: Nov 23, 07 10:24pm

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED

Men Are Just Happier People. My last name stays put. The garage is all mine. Wedding pla...

I am not permitted to be depressed. My Russian wife always says: "You have pension, you have home, you have food, you have pretty wife. Be depressed is stupid. Don't be stupid!" It's impossible to argue with that logic. I couldn't find the word "depressed" in the Russian dictionary.

Posted: Nov 25, 07 4:08am

I am not permitted to be depressed. My Russian wife always says: "You have pension, you have home, you have food, you ha...

Adding to why men are never depressed:

AGGIE STUDY

A recent Texas A and M study revealed

that married men do not live longer than single men.

It only seems like it.

Ya'll never read statistics like females do. Rejoice!

Posted: Nov 25, 07 4:16am

I am not permitted to be depressed. My Russian wife always says: "You have pension, you have home, you have food, you ha...

What a wonderful thought to start the day with... predicates will fall into place later... thanks dear person, and Blessings upon you and your house,

moi

Posted: Nov 25, 07 4:43am

I am not permitted to be depressed. My Russian wife always says: "You have pension, you have home, you have food, you ha...

LanSr, you are a gentleman and now a TBD friend. This is for you:

Caregiver's Prayer

Almighty God, I want to thank You for this time in my life that I caregive for others. All my natural instincts tell me to complain and rebel, but I see clearly that Jesus was the ultimate caregiver. If I have failed to see the servant in Him, then my time in prayer to You would be in vain.

Lord, keep me patient.

Lord, keep me humble.

Lord, keep me from being resentful.

Lord, help me to remain in love for this one that gave so much to me in a lifetime.

Lord, give me the grace daily to arise to their needs.

Lord, help me to stay mentally, spiritually and physically strong so I can maintain the balance of a caregiver.

This is probably not the hardest task that I have ever encountered in my life, but it is the most unrewarding servitude that I have ever experienced. At times my flesh rears up. Help me Holy Spirit to control it.

Grant my loved one respite from the illness, and may I be a small part of making them comfortable.

Almighty God, there is a time that we must all face the end of our lives. May You remember my good works and grant me the very same dignity that I have provided for my loved one.

Be with this dear one and strengthen me as this journey continues as You strengthened Jesus in the Garden. It is in His name I pray. Amen

Posted at 02:55 am by editor

Please comment ©2005-2007 If prayed say so!

Posted: Nov 25, 07 6:03am

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED

Men Are Just Happier People. My last name stays put. The garage is all mine. Wedding pla...

...We men also have "brainclouds" to protect us from our wives and girls friends..

..We men have dress jeans; casual jeans and work jeans (same ones depending on degree of being clean and/or not having holes in them)

..we man have chain saws, snow blowers (some) cool lawn mowers and gas powered "weed whackers".

.. When we need time to ourselves, we men just go outside and wash the van or truck and listen to the ball game on the radio.

..I always take my wife "up North" to the Black River and our summer shack. I always ask her if she wants to go "Fish'in wid me" ..99% of the time I get to go by myself.

..If, "we men are really smart" they marry a "child bride".. never get in trouble for looking at a younger woman ..!

Thank you God ..for not giving me Boobs !!

Posted: Nov 25, 07 6:11am

...We men also have "brainclouds" to protect us from our wives and girls friends..

..We men have dress jeans; casual ...

Where were you... no wait, contribute to my

'Because I'm a Man' Discussion Group, kinda, I thinmk, yeah, we'll have Bmichael tell Howie to give you a Lifetime Pass if you just contribute one good epithet (pearl of wisdom).... yeah, that works...

BTW, welcome to TBD (and yes, I've seen you on other Forums - you are more than still Welcome, 'k?)