Need advice on how best to state my 'demands'

I have taken jobs as far away as 3000 miles from where I was working at the time. Unless I had visited the place previously, I invested in a trip to discover what the reality of the place was and to negotiate terms in person. Once, I found that it was in a town that my wife and I would not have enjoyed living in or near. It was worth the few hundred dollars I invested in travel. Travel was always a one day thing - no overnights. For the far away offer, I took a red-eye out and a late evening flight home. I always found the most inexpensive flights to keep the cost down.

Negotiating by email is not the best idea - for you or the employer unless you already know the place and its environs. Sometimes, there are subtle issues that you can't figure in to your requests that you see clearly when you get there. For instance, if the place of employment provides many extras - think Google - you may not want to spend so much time away from the place of business.

Remember, you are talking about at least two years of your life and hopefully much more.

ordinarygirl,

I wouldnt recommend that you think in terms of demands. That might set the wrong tone for the negotiations. I'm not saying that you shouldn't ask for what you want, you should. These discussions are as much about you determining if this is the right position for you as vice versa.

I'm not aware of a template for such a discussion. Maybe what you can do is make a list of the things you are looking for from the firm to make sure they are reviewed during the discussion. You might start that conversation by saying that it's very important for you to determine if the new position is the right one for you, then lead into your list.

Finally, once you and the firm have agreed to those items, you can send a follow-up letter retracing and documenting what was agreed to on both sides.

I should clarify, the job is with the same company I work for right now. I'd be going back to a manager that I reported to a few years ago. One of my old co-workers is leaving, and it's opening an opportunity to fill her position with a 'new' position. So it's a job I KNOW, a job I know I could do, my manager and I would be 'desigining' the responsibilities and such . . . it could be quite a bit of work . . . so I don't want to get into that process, and then say, "Oh, by the way, I want a grade bump" and have him say, "Surprise to me . . . I can't do anything for you." That puts him behind the 8 ball then, scrambling to find someone else.

I know better than to phrase this as 'demands' when dealing with him. But I do want to make sure that before we get too far down the road he knows exactly what it will take for me to accept the job. That way he can either do the work necessary (document a request for a change of grade for that position, requisition a new laptop) BEFORE we get TOO far down the path.

Does that make more sense . . . ?

I wasnt thinking you would use the word demand. I was thinking about the tone of your discussions. I also realize you know this person and understand how things need to be said.

I would definitely start with "it's very important for me to determine if this is the right position for me before we go much farther. To that end, I have made a list of criteria to help me determine such."