Dying and Choices

NO ..it is not immoral ..period..!

I am sure your "comfort and support" to your friend is well received and very good of you.

If you choose to PM me ..I would elaborate.

Best Regards ..Froggy

I'm sorry for you and your friend, it's difficult to watch someone who was once so full of life slowly slip away. I experienced this with my dad five years ago. He told me so many times he wanted to die & it broke my heart. When you love someone, you hold on for a miracle until the end. Who decides if a life is worth saving or not? Who should decide their fate? Is it a decision for the family, the doctor or the government? I had to write a paper once on the Hippocratic Oath, (the words have changed a bit since it was originally written in the 4th century BC) "To please no one will I prescribe a deadly drug , or give advice which may cause his death." I'm sure sometimes the doctors wish they could assist and help stop the suffering, but we don't live in a time where that is acceptable. The choice is not ours & it would be a hard choice to make. I know I am not strong enough to make that kind of decision.

I was very impressed by the care my dad was given by Hospice in his last days. They were there to offer comfort but not prolong the obvious. I recommend everyone have a Living Will and make sure your family is aware of your wishes. This should also be discussed with your doctor.

As far as I know, The Netherlands is the only county that has made it legal to die with a physicians assistance.

I took care of my father until his death. I was my mother's caretaker until her death in Hospice House and most recently I cared for my husband until he left this world on Christmas morning, 2006. Sooooo, I guess you could say I have had a few chances to give this issue some thought.

I believe that death, like life, is made up of very personal choices...or should be. Each one of us is different...we have different beliefs, values, needs....

My father asked me several times to help him die...I couldn't do that, though I did go so far as to research the Hemlock society. I knew that my father's requests were brought on by extreme pain, not thoughts of how his death would effect my mother or us. It is interesting to note that my father was deathly afraid of going to Hospice -- a place where pain managment is one of their most important functions---he "knew" that if he went to Hospice, he would die --- A strange conundrum --when one wants to die and yet does not want to die...that seems to me to be an argument against euthanasia---what if you change your mind?

My mother's solution was different. She was very adamant about having a living will. She did not want to be kept alive by artificial means. She made me promise I would honor her wishes. When she had a heart attack and went into a coma...I did just that ...to the detriment of my family relationship with my siblings, who wanted to keep Mama alive by any means possible! They said If I had enough faith, I would know that Mama could be healed and I wouldn't have the machines turned off. I told them that Mama had enough faith to know that if God wanted to heal her, he wouldn't need any machines to give him time to do that.....that confrontation was very hard for me but my beloved husband stood firmly by my side, telling me that I was doing exactly what Mama wanted me to do.

When Keith's brain tumor was discovered, I didn't have to have these discussions. God made it easy for him. If you have no short term memory, you simply forget that you are dying and if you have no pain, you are pretty happy (and he was )...The doctors all said they knew how long he would live. One said 2 years, another said 1 year, the Hospice doctor said 6 months. Keith lived 32 days after diagnosis...but they were great big happy days!

Soooo, What choice would I make if it were me? I think that I would want to have the ABILITY to choose --no matter what I finally decided to do.

...I was very impressed by the care my dad was given by Hospice in his last days....

Same here ...the folks from Hospice that helped my Dad and my family were fantastic. In many ways they are unsung heros..

Froggy

This past year has been cancer and death.

The two with terminal cancer, one wanted to live and the other did not.

The one that wanted to live, did die after fighting it for 19 mos....her choice. The other passed after 3-4 mos., again her choice.

By choice, one chose treatment no matter what and the other refused treatment and opted for hospice.

What really should be your concern is: Have YOU put in writing your wishes?

In California it is called Advance Directives.

That way the decision is already made and if you are capable you can change your decision at anytime.

My personal feelings are that I don't believe in Chemo or radiation. I'm a caretaker to my mother and would not deny either of those for her if that was her wish to have them.

Put your desires in writing while you can.

I think that we should be able to live .. . and die with dignity.

10 years ago I prepared a living will and I do not want anybody to decide that I shall live while I am in vegetable state. I have been healthy so far..

Kevorkian would be my choice. I think people shall have a choice to make such decision to end suffering. There is only one question what If the person is uncapable to make such decision any more... . This would be a most tragic moment for the family bearing moral consequences forever.

Health will shall be a solution in such moments.