My Husband called me and said he was moving out!

I'm confused, CarolH. He did this three years ago and your headline refers to your husband? If I have the chronology right, he's your ex-husband, you should start with the counselor immediately and change your phone number, cut off all contact.

I'm confused too. What exactly is it you care for in this selfish, inconsiderate, golddigging lout? I agree with Robin! Change your phone number and kick this cur to the curb-permanently! You can't afford him, emotionally or financially. I'm sorry you were hurt but continuing to hold out hope for this guy will only hurt worse. He's a dog.

I'm in total agreement with both Gatorgal and Robin, how selfish and senseless could a person be to walk out on such a loving and caring person who beside her own illness took all she had to be there for others. This dog belongs where all no good dogs belong in the dog pond. Cut off all cummunication with him. He's not worth the f--- it took his mother to bring him into this world. Yes seek counseling for yourself and move on. There are more fish in the sea, but right now you need to tend to you and your needs mentally , physically as well as spiritually. He is your EX for the reasons stated HE LEFT YOU!!!, so leave him where he stands you never go backwards always forward.

Thank you Robin, you are right he is my former husband. The headline was as if it just happened, and that is how I guess I am still feeling. I am stuck! You are right about shutting off all contact. We even email each other. I am trapped in his charming ways and will change to being the powerful independent woman I know I was and still am. Thank you again for the boot!

Thank you Gatorgal. My former husband can be considerate, but I now realize it is to what he gets out of it, how does it benefit him! When I help another it makes me feel good, I benefit by it making me feel good. When I volunteer for an organization it is what can I do to help others, my benefit is the satisfaction of seeing someone else benefit. Thank you for making sense out of my confusion.

You need to change your way of thinking about the man. I've been through some less traumatic versions of this, but I understand. His nice messages & compliments are aimed at keeping you on his side; not burning the bridge. When he says these things, you don't need to respond. Just remind yourself of the source, what his motivations are, & how pathetically immature he is. You are free from him. This is an enormous blessing. Do everything in your power to protect yourself from him. Don't let him do any kind of harm to you again.

Always hold your cards. When you expose your thoughts or rage or anger, you are exposing yourself to him. Don't let him have that. Its very empowering to know (really know), he does not have the life he wanted if he's trying to manipulate you after he chose to be with someone else.

Being alone is by far better than what you had with him. Make up your mind to be happy whatever your circumstances. Try to see the blessing in it all. Also, remind yourself of lessons learned. Journaling can help.

"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Abraham Lincoln.

Thank you Honeybee1. I goofed up in responding to your reply! Your kind words sit lovingly on my heart and I will use them for a mantra to keep me inspired. You inspire me.