Mother in Law

I've had two and both were wonderful. Both are gone now, but I feel so grateful that my kids had them both (plus my own wonderful Mom) in their lives. When my ex and I got divorced, my nother in law wanted to maintain a good relationship with my kids which meant that she and I had to maintain some sort of relationship. That was fine with me, but once I started dating, I wondered how she'd be. She was great - encouraging me every step of the way and she even sent a lovely gift when my current husband and I got married. She was a treasure and I'm not sure I would be so gracious in the same circumstances.

My current husband's mother was also a find. I walked into her life with two kids who she treated as her own grandchildren from Day 1. If you looked you never would have seen a difference between the way she treated my two and the one biological grandson she has. This extends even to the way money, jewelry, and other assets are to be distributed after my father in law is also gone (not for a long time I hope).

Not to say that there weren't times we had our (sometimes heated) disagreements, but I was truly blessed to have these two women in my life.

Reading your stories I feel so envious. My mother-in-law has been horrible to me from the day we met (almost 14 years now). My father-in-law (who passed away 5 years), was a great person.

some are bad, wampy.....unload! tell us the tale! for inquiring minds want to know!

The day my mother in law went ballistic because someone (me) had put something in her dishwasher wrong and I let my father in law take the heat for it, I knew we had lost all hope of getting along. She was never very nice to me and my husband only acknowledged it part of the time. He is just like her.

The only good thing that can come of being treated so unfairly is my determination to give my children's partners the benefit of the doubt.

I do not know why she cant stand me. I suspect it is one of the following reasons: my mother-in-law is European, I on the other hand am a mix-breed (my mother was European my father Asian). Next I married her youngest son. I also have a full time successful career. Her son traveled half way across the world to meet my family. We have no children (had 3 miscarriages).

It really hurts me though I do not show it in front of my husband. Unless he sees her cruelty and he reacts on his own I just keep quiet. What keep me in check is that she is the mother of my husband.. Before it was easier for me to unload because my mom was alive (she passed away in 2002) I used to talk to her over phone or write to her.

When my father-in-law was alive I used to join my husband every Sunday for lunch. When he passed away I stopped going, instead I spent Sundays going to the cemetery to visit my father-in-law, light a candle and pray.

When we walk I cannot walk beside her I must be at her back. Whenever I kiss her she pushes me back. When she broke her arm I was the only daughter-in-law who visited her everyday. She did a lot of things that I cannot mention here. I got fed up and stopped going. Then she started complaining that I did not help her enough. She never says anything bad about the others who do not visit or call her. She only noticed that I stopped going.

During our church ceremony she had a long face throughout the celebration and it was captured on film and on photos. It was so obvious that I had cropped the photos so it would not show. Her copies though were not retouched.

It does not matter if the other 2 daughter-in-laws do not call or invite her, do not remember her birthday she will never do the things she says and does to me... when I am the only one (not ever her sons remember her birthday) who remembers her birthday, her feast day the death anniversary of her husband etc.

Almost 14 years have passed, I should be used to it by now but it still bothers and hurts me. I have tried praying. But sometimes it really still gets to me. Any suggestions.

Sorry this was quiet long, you asked that is why I mentioned it Sorry its contents is not pleasant.

Thanks.

Im sorry this person is such an ass. You have more than bent over backwards to tolerate her miserable attitude and that is to be commended.

There are some people in this world that absolutely LIVE to make others miserable. there is no acceptance or softness in them....nothing redeeming, nor nothing in their hard souls that will accept any kindness you project. These people: mother-in-laws, parents blood relations....to have that kind of bitter cold heart is absolutely unforgivable. Your mother in law may well be a racist filled with hate. They go to the grave the way they lived: leaving nothing but thanks that they are gone for good. Its a pity.

You have done everything you can do.

I am a mother in law for 6 of my 7 kids. I have always have this notion I give my kids advice ,if they ask, but other then that I dont meddle into their business. I babysit my grandkids when they ask me. I help one of my boys with his business, moneywise.Both he and his girlfriend run the business do I meddle into the business ,because I put in more then half of what they needed?? No I do not.And I live very at peace within myself.And that friends is what a mother in law should be.Helpfull but not gossipy, and for a motherin-law to love and respect her inlaw kids as much as she loves her own.