GG, honey, you are on a totally lucid roll - go on and get it all out!
I have always wondered about the Braille bit at the atm drive ups. I shall have to think of more for that thread.
Grandma Goes to CourtPosted: Mar 1, 08 10:25pmLawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.' The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?' She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He ca n't build a normal relat ionship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.' The defense attorney nearly died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'
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Mockingbird
 Posted: Mar 2, 08 12:45am Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a So...  Posted: Mar 2, 08 4:23pmLawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a So... Go, Grandma!!!! Posted: Mar 2, 08 7:59pmLawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a So... At age 20 we worry about what others think of us. At age 40 we no longer care what they think of us. At age 60 we discover that they haven't been thinking of us at all! Posted: Mar 2, 08 8:34pmAt age 20 we worry about what others think of us. At age 40 we no longer care what they think of us. At age 60 we discov... I need the laughter, guys, keep 'em rolling! GG & Jo Lewis thanks for the support & fun!! :D Posted: Mar 2, 08 8:46pmLawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a So... Grandma walks into a drug store and tells the Pharmacist she needs some cyanide. Pharmacist says, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" She explained she needed it to kill her husband. The Pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, " Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! They'll throw us both in jail and I'll lose my license!" Grandma reached into her purse and pulled out a photo of her husband in bed with the Pharmacist's wife and handed it to the Pharmacist. The Pharmacist looked at the photo and replied, " Well, now, you didn't tell me you had a perscription." Posted: Mar 2, 08 9:58pmGrandma walks into a drug store and tells the Pharmacist she needs some cyanide. Pharmacist says, "Why in the world do y... LMAOROFL!!!!!  Dang it, there goes another pair of clean pants! Posted: Mar 2, 08 11:59pmLawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a So... An 83-year old woman is visiting her GP for a physical and he reviews a long list of prescription pills she is currently taking. On the list are birth control pills. "Oh my goodness," he exclaims, "what are these doing here? There is no way you can become pregnant." "I take these so I can sleep better at night." "Well then let me prescribe a mild sedative for you, these cannot be helping you and the chemical reaction might indeed counteract some of the other pills" "No, no you don't understand Doctor. Every morning I crumble up one of these pills in my 16-year old granddaughter's orange juice. And I sleep just fine thank you." |  ADVERTISEMENT  |
