Don't Send Me Presents

Posted: Mar 9, 08 8:47am

Everyone knows the right way to celebrate a single-digit birthday: a cake with candles, party games and presents. More is better. As the number of candles grows, it gets more complicated, and eventually there are too many candles to fit on the cake. Then it’s the depressing one-candle-per-decade. As for presents, usually they are things and by a certain time of life you already have enough things. And should you want something, you are likely to buy it for yourself.

So birthdays become a problem. You can ban all celebrations, which at the very least assures that you don’t get any joke-y senior citizen birthday cards. But when I tried doing that, the day would roll around and I’d feel bereft. It was my birthday! How come no one was paying attention to me?

Then last year I had an inspiration. I didn’t want presents; I wanted praise. I put out the word to close friends and members of my family that for my birthday I would be pleased to accept compliments. I am happy to report that everyone came through beautifully and I felt the opposite of deprived. Since I liked everything I got, there were no guilty thoughts of exchanging gifts or, even worse, regifting. My favorite birthday compliment was one that my best friend extracted on my behalf from her teenage son: “She’s one of the few grown-ups that I can talk to.”

Gratifying as this fishing for praise turned out to be, I don’t think I’d better try for a repeat. People might have trouble thinking up a second compliment. So I’ve been casting around for a new scheme. This year I want stories, I’ve decided. Memories, fairy tales, anecdotes, newspaper fillers. Anything that has stuck in your mind, for one reason or another. My next birthday is six months away, so there’s plenty of time.