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There is a great article about a 25-year-old's decision whether to donate his liver to the father who killed his own liver through alcohol abuse. It reminded me of Founding Member Adair Lara's suggestion that we start a group called "Taking Care of the Parent Who Didn't Take Care of Us." In the WSJ story the parent is of our generation; Adair was talking about those of us who are saddled with senior parents who now need us.
Posted: Jan 22, 07 12:42pm
I took care of my mother for more than the last 20 years of her life, building an addition to my home so she would have her own apartment. I was her sole emotional, social and economic resource at some cost to me in all areas. In her later years she said "You're so good to me; I wasn't that good a mother to you", and she wasn't. She was far too depressed to be very affectionate when I was growing up.
And yet, I chose to be there for her. I'm not martyr, but it felt like a privilege to be able to do for in spite of her "not deserving it". I didn't and don't expect brownie points. I did what I did because it felt right to do it and I don't regret a day of it.