How to Raise a Perfect Child

Are you saying that you have become your mother?

Thats not so bad, you turned out okay.....didn't you?

My husband used to say to me when my son was a baby/toddler that I needed to let go [meaning i was being too protective.] Now that my son has left for college, mu husband is having a difficult time letting go. If my son doesnt call him every evening usually by 9:30 pm, my husband calls him.

When i was growing up i raised myself and my younger siblings..... all 5 of them. Boy, did that teach me something i.e., prolong becoming a parent as long as possible.

I remember>>>>>>>

broken bones, broken down refrigerator and rotting food, dirty dishes and laundry piling up, teenage pregnancy, you name it.....this was just life and my parents were not accused of being negligent, abusive or insane. Oh, bring back the good ole' days!

If you really thing your job as a parent is done when the child leaves for college you are in for a rude awakening! Once a parent, always a parent.

All we can do is our best as we try to improve from one generation to the next and we will make an entirely new set of "mistakes" than our own parents made as we raise our children.

My own five children are now adults, some with children of their own.

Kids are awesome and grandchildren are such a sweet reward. My mother was right about one thing--you can spoil the grandchildren then send them home!

People do speak highly of grandchildren so I am eager to experience this delight. But I tell myself that I shouldn't be too eager. Like a lot of my peers, I was an "older mother," but I'm hoping that the pendulum will have swung once again and that my daughter's generation will start their families earlier.

There is no such thing as the perfect child, nor do perfect parents exist either. Raising kids to turn out right is a gamble and, as parents, we hope that we are doing the right things, calling the right shots.

Beyond the basics of being firm and fair and showing love, each set of parents applies their own judgements to what else is needed to raise a child. There is no one set of rules that works for everybody.

My Grandfather used to say that he had to be mad at his kids half of his life to raise them decent. That seems a bit harsh but they all turned out right. So, who knows? Hopefully, we'll do the best that we can to mold honest living citizens.

I hope that our children's generation has babies not only sooner, but also more often. We've cheated ourselves by having too few children too late -- and if you ask the kids, many of them regret not having siblings. Am I wrong to envy cultures that promote large families, like the Mormons and the Hasidim?

Enjoy the journey--whether it be as an older mother with young children, as a parent of teenagers or as a grandparent. It is all a part of life's process and we tend to wish our lives away, ya know what I mean? When the baby learns to walk, when the kids go to school, when the kids leave home, etc. Every stage has its good and bad points and we can learn so much along the way!