Help for 75-year Old Mother

Get in touch with the chamber of commerce in her city. See if they have any "senior-assist" programs like meals on wheels, etc.

Thanks very much for your response. Have you had any experience using any of those agencies or organizations? How did it work for you?

I haven't had any direct experiences with our Chamber of Commerce but friends of mine have. They can point you in the right direction. They have their fingers on the pulse of their City's available organizations.Good luck.

A lot depends on her (and possibly your) financial situation. Since she's in good health, you could just advertise for a full or part-time housekeeper/personal assistant. You might also see if her city has an 'agency on aging' or something like that--they'll be able to help her find whatever assistance she needs.

First and foremost, IMO, is to have a face to face talk with your mom and also asses the "exact situation" your mom is in. Then you can cooperatively make decisions and arrangements together.

When my mom was 80 ..she was of "stout mind and clear thinking" but her body was breaking down. So we talked ..and talked ..and talked ..until she agreed with me. It was time for me to keep my promise to my Dad when he died. I would take care of mom forever.

I sold Ma's house, packed her "treasures and memories" , sold everything else and loaded the moving van.

Now she is pampered to death, all day and every day..has her own BR set up just like at her other house..has a private den and the fix'ens, has a private bath and can use as much "ole'lady talc" as she wants.

Ma will live "happily ever after" and end her time on this earth in "her own and loving home"...

The moral of this short story is very simple ..it's is the children's responsiblity to ensure that the unconditional loved that our parents bestowed upon us , is given right back !

I live in Florida, where there are many retirees. As residents here age, if they want to stay in their own home rather than move to an assisted living facility, and assuming they can afford it, various seniors hire aides (either part time or full time) to take them on errands, help with light chores, prepare meals, etc.

Usually aides are hired for a minimum of four hours for each day one hires them. I read that the national average charge for aides is about $18. per hour. I think that the cost is less than that in many areas, particularly if one is not hiring the aide through an agency, as I have been told that the aides hired through agencies get just a fraction of what the client pays.

There are many companies that provide aides listed in the phone book here and advertising in newspapers. You can also often get references to aides/agencies from doctors, community agencies, senior citizen centers and more.

Also, many seniors earn extra money by providing services for other seniors, everything from dog walking to shopping, driving, installing new gadgets and more. Perhaps there is someone who can be referred by a temple or church who wants to earn some extra money and can help your mother. Frequently, that is a less costly alternative than hiring an aide.

There are many others in the situation you face. Fortunately, in many locales, there are good and helpful choices for solving the problems you mentioned. Good luck!

I agree about hiring a personal aide.

Either through an agency, your local paper, or online. This is perfect for a retiree or even a stay at home mom who is looking for a little extra income. Plus your mom might enjoy seeing a small child every now and then.

Be sure to actually DO a background check on this person and to keep close tabs on them.

If they have access to petty cash, insist on receipts for every penny.

If they have access to checkbooks, bank accounts or credit cards...check on these accounts several times a week.

If there are valuables in the home, document them and secure what you can.

Believe your mom is she says something is not right. Trust moms instincts.