Posted: Sep 30, 07 6:11am
One area of fun poetry I enjoy is taking an old song and giving it new lyrics. When I do so, it is always with apologies to both the composer and the lyricist. The following "pome" was written one dark night when I had been struggling over a first novel and know I didn't yet have that something special that made it publishable. But, frustrated authors never give up and the ditty that follows burst forth. When in doubt, we write a query. This song/poem/diatribe is my inner dialogue to the process involved. I use the verse-chorus pattern as used in the original song.
You may sing it to the tune of "Nothin' Like a Dame" from Rogers and Hammerstein's, "South Pacific." For the bibliofiles amongst you, "South Pacific" was a musical rewriting of James A Michener's book, "Tales of the South Pacific." Notice, I said you MAY sing it. I don't know if you can sing. If your voice is as good as mine, you may want to make sure all the doors and windows are closed when you do so.
THE QUERY
I'm so weary writing queries
and so utterly confused,
That my mind is getting blurry
and I don't know what to choose.
Is the editor the right one
or the agent even better?
What should I do
with this damn letter?
There is nothing in the world,
Nothing like a book.
All the energy it took
You had better well read my book.
It has sex and it has vi'lence
and much bloody, messy gore.
It has pimps and tramps and dirty cops,
and even one dead whore.
It has hustle, it has muscle,
and strange characters galore.
What does it need?
It needs some more!
There is nothing in the world,
nothing like a book.
All the energy it took,
you had better well read my book.
I wrote the whole darn morning
Now I say I have a book;
I am looking for an agent
who will give the book a look.
And to anyone who'll listen,
"It's a project that will cook."
Whatever it is,
It ain't no book!
There is nothing in the world,
Nothing like a book;
All the energy it took,
You had better well read my book.
by: Milt, the t'ard bard
