Hello Veronica ... I read your piece at the link you gave. This is not the kind of writing I do, but I have some thoughts...

Check your punctuation.

Who is your audience? If it's beyond people who know Nebraska football, then they might not follow some of the references.

What year was the Orange Bowl you mention?

"Then, oh then (sic) ..." Awkward phrasing? How about: "Then, Hallelujah! Our beloved ...."

I don't think you mean "champaign". It's "champagne."

A non-Nebraskan will have no idea what this means: "What Pederson did to Solich was wrong, how he did it was worse." The imagination can go many places with that from moral depravity to simple spitting in the soup ... I don't know what Pederson did to Solich ... but I'm guessing something like this is needed: "That Pederson fired Solich was wrong, how he did it was insult to injury." Something like that.

I imagine, in writing like this you have a limited number of characters, words, or column inches. Not easy writing ...

I hope this helps.

Hi. Thank you for the comments. I did some editing. As far as my audience, you have to understand that ALL Nebraska has as far as sports is Nebraska Football. We have no professional teams in Nebraska. Anyone who follows College foootball will know to what I am referring. Nebraska fans number in the thousands at AWAY games! Anyway, I'm not really limited to the number of words, or characters, but I've seen some long Articles, and I don't like them. I have found that as far as articles go, if people have to scroll further down than the length of approximately 3 pages, they stop reading.

Thanks, though! Anyone else have any comments?

Hi, Veronica. Good job on the article. It gets the point across nicely that the homegaurd coaching staff is back. The hopeful images of everyone cheering the team on is good stuff. You might want to get a proofreader or maybe have your proofreader check their eyeglass prescription:

-double comma in sentence 2 - "Pay per view" seems a little odd; Pay Per View or pay-per-view would work better.

- follow the Well in paragraph 2 with a comma (you can use that extra one in the 2nd line!)

- champaign - um . . . champagne? or is this a drink while running for office?

- "Nebraskan's feel. . . " this is the possessive form of a noun. It means the 'feel' that belongs to Nebraska (heh, heh) I think you intended a plural. Nebraskans feel.

- "It is indeed a great time to be a Nebraksan" Is it? hmmmmm.

I never try to proof my own material. I ALWAYS miss stuff. Stoopid stuff.

Okay the writing, generally good and enthusiastic, but there are some things you may want to consider next time around:

-repetition; you used daze in the first sentence and dazed in the second. consider replacing one of them.

- be cautious about undefined abbreviations. I had to stop and think about A.D. Activities Director? Anno Domini? Attention Deficit?

- Is "Heave Ho" a town in Nebraska? No? Then the capitals aren't needed, really.

- "Then, oh then our beloved Dr. Tom came back!" This is a little difficult to read. It looks at first like you started to write one thing and then changed your mind. Were you waxing rhapsodic?

- "We love Bo, don't get me wrong, but the only thing that would sweeten the pot would be for us to somehow honor Solich." These 2 things don't seem to be incompatible: the love for Bo and the honoring of Solich. Can't you do both?

- "What Pederson did to Solich was wrong, how he did it was worse." Those of us reading this article who are NOT from Nebraska and don't know the events are left wondering, "Um . . . HOW did he do it?"

- I wouldn't use the word "indeed" at all in a sports article. Too stuffy.

- you are fond of the words "once" and "that." Just as an exercise, try taking them out and see what happens. They might be functioning as filler words for you.

- keep the tense continuity; don't use extraneous words. If I were your editor, this is what I'd do to 3 of the paragraphs:

Nebraskans anticipate a climb back to greatness. It won’t happen right away, but there is hope. We know the first three games will be on Pay Per View. The Nebraska Projected Roster looks good. (roster listing below)

You can expect sellout crowds for every game, and the atmosphere will be exciting. Wow, to see that Tunnel Walk for the First game this season! You won't want to miss it.

Husker Gear is filling the racks and shelves again. People don’t have much money, but Nebraska will be a "Sea of Red" on Game Day. Grocery Stores will be broadcasting "THE game."

There is nothing "lesser" about writing a good article. It is more difficult to use fewer words. One suggestion is to end the article by touching back to the opening. Something like "Nebraska is still dazed, but now by its good fortune!" Not good, but it illustrates my point.

Sorry this is so long. I hope it helps. Keep it up. You're getting published, that's the main thing. Congrats.

Thank You Bill! That was so helpful, and funny. You are right, I just need to slow down and spell/grammar check. I just went so long without writing, that it all comes rushing out and I (can you say A.D.D?) just do not take the time to proof it well enough.

I am certainly going to take your suggestions. My Articles have been doing better, and maybe if I just slow down, they will improve even more.

Thanks for adding the humor! You've been a bit help!

I know what you mean. But I'm amazed at how often I can read, reread, and rereread and STILL miss stoopid misstakes. grrrr. If I have to publish it, I get someone else to proof it. It needs new eyes!

Please post links to your new pieces here. I'd love to read them.

Not being much into college football and less into Nebraska football most of the references were lost on me. Maybe in a Nebraska booster mag or alumni newsletter but I doubt many others would get it.

A good wrap up would be a quote from the current coach, whomever that is, on the next season.

Since you address people who probably share your views on Nebraska Footbal, your article is to the point and you don't mince your words, it is clear and will connect with your writers, I am not sure I like the acronyms because different generations interpret them differently or do not understand them at all. otherwise, your passion for Nebraska football comes through quite clearly.

But what do I know, I played rugby in HS and I now live in Florida after 25 yrs in SoCal...

Cheers

PIMcKenzie