Come down from where? Were you not looking up in this piece? What category do you place your work in? Have you read poems by Hart Crane? Do you read a lot of poetry? In your profile you say you write musicals. Good for you...that is not easy. Do you only write poetry when you are sad? Just curious.

If I may. In music there is serialmeaning holding no sequence or pattern.just there. John Cage proved a point when he sat a man at a piano for an time and the man did nothing, around you you heard the echoes of life that is music that is my poetry. There is nothing wrong with form but the formless has a place also.NO i do not write only when I am sad, That is just something that happens. I'll send you something happy.

Closing In On Forever

Did I ever tell you how much I love you?

Did I ever make you open your eyes?

See me now, I'm a changed man

More open than before

Twice the man I used to be

Did I ever tell you how much you made me grow?

Did I ever tell you that you made a child into a man?

See me now, I'm a changed man

More open than before

Twice the man I used to be.

I'm free, free at last

Free from the demons inside

I'm closing in on forever

Closing into now

Closing into you

Did I ever tell you what you mean to me?

Did I ever make you open your eyes?

See me now,I'm a changed man

More open than before

Twice the man I used to be

Did I ever tell you how much I need you?

Did I ever make you open your eyes?

See me now,I'm a changed man

More open than before

Twice the man I used to be

I'm free,free at last

Free from the demons inside

I'm Closing in on forever

Closing into now

Closing into you

something happy

George,

Thanks for sharing your stuff. I also read your other post on abuse. The two sad ones seem not to have as much emotion as Closing in on Forever. There's almost this sense of stating fact in a state of emotional denial.

Now, as a counselor, I'd say that is normal affect. I wonder, however, if you pulled a bit more emotion into it if your reader would become more entwined in the subject.

For me personally "free verse" is one of my favorite forms poetic conventions to endulge in and to read. With that said it can be quite challenging as well.

You are definitely at liberty to devise your own unique visual and auditory patterns...one of the difficulties come in that it is sometimes hard to know when your work has reached its full potential.

I'm following your words but feel that you didn't quite reach your potential of your work. I longed for more....wanted more tone....if your work is intended for readers as I very much think others could benefit from, you have to keep the reader in mind, give them "enough" so to speak, that the visual, auditory impact is apparent. Hope that makes sense because I think that it's a good piece that can say so much more :)

First, thank you for commenting, we've spoken before and it was to my delight to see that it was you again.

Funny thing about Closing In On Forever it is the title song of my musical to be produced shortly. A concert version on December 7. I wrote the libretto and the melody a friend of mine did the arrangement.

Not an excuse but I am severly bipolar rapid cycling, which is a blessing and a curse. I am disabled because of it, but with therapy and meds is allows me to carry on a somewhat normal existence. It appears you have got me.

CJ thanks for your thoughts.

Ah ha! As I read Closing In On Forever I was thinking, "this would be a great song for a musical". And so it is. I did not intend to imply that your form was meaningless. And by all means, I am very educated in the world of bipolar cycling and am honored that you would not only share your work with us, but your life also. Thank you for sending something happy. I am curious how long you have been working on your musical, if I may ask?