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Educational Aspects of Child Rearing

Posted: Oct 22, 07 8:21pm

Some thoughts on child education ... based on discussions with friends & our cumulative past experience AND now that it's too late for most us to do anything about it.

But figured this might stimulate a rousing conversation and might serve to give new parents some ideas. I'm sure we all have good ideas along these lines and many of you probably have advanced degrees in this topic. But everything listed below is there because it teaches the brain to think in a different, often abstract, way. The idea here is to sneak education in on the kid either surreptitiously (by making it a normal part of the home environment) or by making it fun. Also, some learning can be induced just by getting the kids used to some responsibility (such as chores or money handling).

FOOD DIVERSITY ... being a picky eater is not a blessing for a kid. It limits what they will eat throughout life, may impact his/her social life, and may have negative health consequences if s/he is pickily prefers bad stuff.

Kids nursed by mothers who eat garlic & spicy foods grow up accepting those foods. Obviously, a parent who is a picky eater will only foster a kid who is picky, so this can be a challenge for a parent with limited tastes. But a kid w/ a diverse appreciation for foods & flavors has a better chance of being healthy and of getting a balanced diet. Parental example is important ... "Mmmm ... this is good!" goes a longer way than force. OR ... "Just try a taste and then you can have have dessert." (Yeah, I realize bribery isn't the best technique.) Eventually, with repeats, the kid will develop a taste for those "just a taste" items.

1 or 2 FOREIGN LANGUAGES -- easiest learned from toddler age, esp at home as part of a polylingual environment -- people who USE more than one language are less prone to Alzheimer's ... if done as part of the home environment, it's not stressful or a chore on the kid. Even better if each parent speaks a different language to the kid ... and a babysitter uses a third! (What a devious plot!)

And some form of ART... painting, pottery, sculpture ... another form of abstract thinking & something kids are glad to do and is fast disappearing from our educational system. This would include some cultural appreciation such as museums & art galleries ... but I think this is routine for any educated parent.

GARDENING ... even if it's only keeping 1 tomato plant healthy & productive each year. Easy to get any kid to start this at age 3 or 4. A healer once told me that the 1st step to becoming a healer is to keep a tomato plant alive. Well, HE hated tomatoes, so it wasn't easy for him. But the key is that you have to be attentive to another living thing that can't tell you what it needs. (And a tomato doesn't make messes like a puppy.) And, obviously, we all need to be attentive to others at some level.

Some regular ANAEROBIC SPORT or EXERCISE that is fun ... running, soccer, baseball, skiing, swimming, kayaking, windsurfing, martial arts, Parkour, etc (WITH PARENTS as an example) ... just to keep 'em from becoming porkers, teaches coordination & dexterity, & teaches the kids that it feels good to feel fit. Make fitness a family habit.

Some form of SOCIAL DANCING (very yucky to kids BUT teaches a strong social skill) - such as tango, ballroom, etc -- to most kids THIS is stressful ... but not so bad after being whipped into it for a month or 2. It's not necessary to get to competitive level ... in fact that would make it stressful again. Here in San Antonio, Ballet Folklorico is available for the pre-school & pre-teens & teens & does not carry a social stigma. More than just dancing skills, it teaches social interaction, something that computer geeks & playstation nerds aren't learning.

Learn something about COOKING at home - the skill seems to skip generations ... parents who do all the cooking forget to teach the kids ... my grandmother never taught my mother; I could out-cook my mother when I was 12 (in self-defense) Have the kids help cook for holidays & for the family 1 day a week? OR make 1 special item each week (lemonade, hot dogs, mashed potatoes, mac & cheese, pasta, risotto, flan, Zuppa Romana, paella, etc according to increasing abilities). Kids enjoy playing in the kitchen if you start 'em young & getting into the routine early removes it from being an onerous chore. It's good survival knowledge for bachelors and a surprisingly pleasant skill to find in women these days. If the parents can't cook, then one parent can take the kid to cooking classes with him/her. In my town one of the gourmet groceries has several topical classes a week (Italian cooking, sushi, Chinese cooking, vegetarian cooking, etc).

Learn any chorded musical instrument, PIANO is best (or harpsichord, organ, harp, guitar) -- independent bimanual dexterity & chorded musical thinking are uniquely taught by piano ... probably no need to use standard piano lessons. No coaxing necessary, one parent just has to start learning with something like "The Piano Guy" type of lessons & the toddler will come up and want to learn as well. And that level of piano would be completely functional without any parental pressure/stress factor. Gives skill & fun all through life as well. I WANTED to play piano but I was prevented because my father said I'd feel left out of marching band (and the clarinet was cheaper) But once a kid knows chords ... any other instrument is easy. (Hiring a babysitter? Make sure she plays jazz piano as well as speaks a foreign language! :-)

POKER - teaches risk/benefit analysis, reading other peoples tells, recovery from loss -- something that can be done as a regular family game.

Play for chips = points ... winning enough points can buy a kid out of a chore ... or the right to have 1st pick at weekly chores. Or let the kid play with their allowance :-) Make those chips worth something! And if the parents consistently start losing, then the kid has learned their tells ... and folks need to learn better poker :-) And don't you bet the kid's self esteem would be boosted by succeeding at that!

There's nothing wrong with Chess or Go, but they are more tactical & not interpersonal (good if you are raising a future general, but not a salesman). Also, no monetary risk/benefit ... or recovery from loss is taught.

Kids need to learn the value of MONEY, so involve them somehow in budgeting/shopping. Teach 'em to compare prices in the grocery, let 'em help budgeting for the vacation trip? Give 'em the choices of saving money on junk food for dinner so there's money at the end of the week to rent a video. Let the kid pay for his/her own video rentals, junk food, etc out of his/her allowance ... and don't make it so generous that there is no budgeting to do. Also, make the allowance contingent on work, i.e. household chores ... i.e. WORK. Give them some appreciation for what YOU have to do to get money, and what they will have to do to get money ... and buy stuff later in life.

CALCULUS - teaches an abstract form of thinking -- ok ... can't get to that w/o lots of math in school (but there WAS a game called Wff 'n Proof that taught calculus logic as a game to young kids as a family game ... http://wffnproof.com/

IF the kid plays this as a kid ... calculus would be a snap ... it ain't gonna harm the parents any either :-)

And ... any form of practical TECHNICAL SKILL keeps a kid in touch w/ reality ... electronics, auto shop , woodworking, metalworking, etc -- easy enough to get a class in HS or Jr college -- teaches some self reliance, problem solving, diagnostic logic & keeps a kid from being a senseless nerd who can't make the VCR from blinking 12:00 all the time.

SUMMER CAMPS in line w/ the kids interests (or to tweak existing skills) are also good ... and teaches a non-school social interaction as well. Lots of options available to kids today. Language immersion, computers, etc.

SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY can be taught by volunteering for some activity which might include 'candy-striper' in a hospital, visiting older folks in a retirement home, serving food in a charity Thanksgiving food benefit, helping pick up litter in a park, whatever the whole family can do once in a while. Yep ... this means the parents have to get involved as well. Who said raising kids was easy?

HEALTH & EMERGENCY ADAPTABILITY can be taught in several manners, but scouting First Aid merit badges, Red Cross First Aid & CPR classes, Swimming & Lifeguard courses -- these can all be useful in later life.

FOREIGN TRAVEL when the kid(s) can appreciate it, communicating in that language & eating endemic foods only.

POLITICS? How can we best teach our kids about that? Discuss our voting views at home over the dinner table? Imbue an interest in being involved in local & national politics as a voter ... and maybe as a volunteer or campaign worker.

These all work the mind in totally different ways. It looks like a full card (in addition to school) BUT if 90% of 'em are presented as fun, play or just daily (or weekly) routine from toddler age ... it won't be stressful ... and the anaerobic exercise is good for reducing stress.

If presented from toddler age on, a kid will have most of these mastered by school age or HS age. LOTS of time to push on w/ specialties AND the kid will be more powerfully enabled to deal with any new learning.

Arm your kids with the basic skills above instilled from infancy, & you shouldn't have to become a helicopter parent. Resist the temptation ... their kids don't learn problem solving, self-reliance, how to cope with, or recover from failure.

I can say I was pretty lucky in having been raised with more than half of these factors in my home education, and I picked up most of the others on my own. BUT, I would have been better prepared for life if I'd had all of the above instilled in me through my home environment.

Have we missed anything?

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parenting, home schooling, sports, learning, languages, calculus, budget, monetary sense, work, chores, allowance, poker, travel, piano, cooking, social dancing, gardening, art

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2 Comments // 2 Members

CarolT

Posted: Oct 24, 07 6:40pm

Lagniappe wrote:

Some thoughts on child education ... based on discussions with friends & our cumulative past experience AND now that it'...

You know, I did very little of that with my daughter, and she is now an adult with a bachelor's degree and an adventurous spirit.

I did insist that she learn to swim, and that she take music lessons. But a year of viola and a year of drums were enough for her, and she stopped. She took four years of French in high school and travelled to Quebec twice with her class, but she never really mastered the language.

And you know what? She had a happy childhood, full of opportunities to daydream and do nothing and hang out with her friends. I made an effort not to overschedule her and to allow her the freedom to veg out. Adult life lasts a lot longer than childhood, and there's no point in rushing it.

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Lagniappe

Posted: Oct 25, 07 1:00pm

CarolT wrote:

You know, I did very little of that with my daughter, and she is now an adult with a bachelor's degree and an adventurou...

I agree that it's stressful & might even be counterproductive to overschedule kids, or worry about a kid's career from the time of preschool.

My only points were about creating family situations that draw the kids into learning in the home environment, not by structuring their time. I think I only had 1 semester of French in HS in the Alliance Francaise method & I still remember it. But there is no substitute (in respect to mental health & preventing Alzheimer's) for USING a foreign language or 2, or for lifelong playing of musical instruments. And both are very easy for toddlers to learn because that's when those parts of brain connections are being formed.

But if parents don't know these things, then they can't do anything to benefit their kids. And I'm certainly not criticizing parents who have raised perfectly fine kids with a different POV.

Most kids grow up to be solid citizens & successful in our own ways. But a kid who enters HS already speaking 2 or 3 languages, already familiar with the logic of calculus (from playing a family game), etc has a major step up on everyone else ... it's just easier for that kid to excel, and easier to spend time doing things that interest themselves.

My only point was that a parent plinking on a piano in front of a 2 yr old, and letting the kid also play on it, sets up the kid to 'play' at something that will be a lifelong skill without making it an onerous drill twice a week with Frau Bluecher.

Poker, as a family game, gives kids a skill ... much better than Chutes & Ladders or Uno or Old Maid. Poker teaches a skill ... the others are time wasters. The point being that both can be fun ... why choose the one that is a disadvantage over one that has a learning skill imbedded?

I don't delude myself into thinking that more than a few folks might share our ideas (my local discussion group), but I am convinced that anyone who would incorporate these ideas into their home environment would greatly benefit their kids ... as compared to the kids left to raise themselves with PlayStation & youtube.

I agree that it's stressful & might even be counterproductive to overschedule kids, or worry about a kid's career from the time of preschool. My only points were about creating family situations that draw the kids into learning in the home environment, not by structuring their time. I think I only had 1 semester of French in HS in the Alliance Francaise method & I still remember it. But there is no substitute (in respect to mental health & preventing Alzheimer's) for USING a foreign language or 2, or for lifelong playing of musical instruments. And both are very easy for toddlers to learn because that's when those parts of brain connections are being formed. But if parents don't know these things, then they can't do anything to benefit their kids. And I'm certainly not criticizing parents who have raised perfectly fine kids with a different POV. Most kids grow up to be solid citizens & successful in our own ways. But a kid who enters HS already speaking 2 or 3 languages, already familiar with the logic of calculus (from playing a family game), etc has a major step up on everyone else ... it's just easier for that kid to excel, and easier to spend time doing things that interest themselves. My only point was that a parent plinking on a piano in front of a 2 yr old, and letting the kid also play on it, sets up the kid to 'play' at something that will be a lifelong skill without making it an onerous drill twice a week with Frau Bluecher. Poker, as a family game, gives kids a skill ... much better than Chutes & Ladders or Uno or Old Maid. Poker teaches a skill ... the others are time wasters. The point being that both can be fun ... why choose the one that is a disadvantage over one that has a learning skill imbedded? I don't delude myself into thinking that more than a few folks might share our ideas (my local discussion group), but I am convinced that anyone who would incorporate these ideas into their home environment would greatly benefit their kids ... as compared to the kids left to raise themselves with PlayStation & youtube.

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Posted: Oct 25, 07 1:00pm

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I agree that it's stressful & might even be counterproductive to overschedule kids, or worry about a kid's career from the time of preschool.

My only points were about creating family situations that draw the kids into learning in the home environment, not by structuring their time.  I think I only had 1 semester of French in HS in the Alliance Francaise method & I still remember it.  But there is no substitute (in respect to mental health & preventing Alzheimer's) for USING a foreign language or 2, or for lifelong playing of musical instruments.  And both are very easy for toddlers to learn because that's when those parts of brain connections are being formed.

But if parents don't know these things, then they can't do anything to benefit their kids.  And I'm certainly not criticizing parents who have raised perfectly fine kids with a different POV.

Most kids grow up to be solid citizens & successful in our own ways.  But a kid who enters HS already speaking 2 or 3 languages, already familiar with the logic of calculus (from playing a family game), etc has a major step up on everyone else ... it's just easier for that kid to excel, and easier to spend time doing things that interest themselves.

My only point was that a parent plinking on a piano in front of a 2 yr old, and letting the kid also play on it, sets up the kid to 'play' at something that will be a lifelong skill without making it an onerous drill twice a week with Frau Bluecher.

Poker, as a family game, gives kids a skill ... much better than Chutes & Ladders or Uno or Old Maid.  Poker teaches a skill ... the others are time wasters.  The point being that both can be fun ... why choose the one that is a disadvantage over one that has a learning skill imbedded?

I don't delude myself into thinking that more than a few folks might share our ideas (my local discussion group), but I am convinced that anyone who would incorporate these ideas into their home environment would greatly benefit their kids ... as compared to the kids left to raise themselves with PlayStation & youtube.

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