For me it has varied -- it is very random and could be something like a father-daughter event for my daughter or my oldest going to college (because his Dad would have been so proud).

Please don't give up on your holidays. We still do all the holiday stuff -- I made an effort because I felt the kids deserve good holidays, but I realized that I also benefited.

I'm sorry for your loss -- things do get easier, though.

And I realized that I need to correct my original post... it was actually the second Christmas after my wife died.

The first Christmas, it was very important to my daughter that we try to do things the same way we had when my wife was alive... so we did many of the same family traditions we always had.

The second Christmas, my daughter had gone off to college, all of the traditions left with her, and that's when it really hit me how much things had changed.

So far every holiday this year has been tough. He passed away on January 11th. Our 20th Wedding aniversary would have been January 19th. Easter -- hey I cooked my first Turkey. My husband always did that, I cooked the ham. Mother's day and my birthday - my husband always tried to make it special since they are so close together. Father's day -- knowing that my kids father wasn't there any longer and then in July our daughters birthday followed by his two days later.

I dread Thanksgiving and Christmas this year probably more than anything. During Thanksgiving 2007 my husband was already in the hospital on a ventilator and by Christmas (which is also our son's birthday) he was off and back to his old self. He wasn't able to do things for himself due to severe muscle atrophy but he was able to crack a joke or two, and make sure we all knew how much he loved us.

A good friend said that she wished the entire first year away. I find myself dreading the holidays but I think what I dread the most is him not being here to celebrate with us.

In some odd way that I will never be able to explain appropriately, I think we have to go through those things and that... in the end... they help us to move on.

I wouldn't wish it away. The pain we feel is a tribute to those we've lost. I'm willing to endure the pain to give them that tribute.

Mrazz, you'll never forget your husband, I don't need to tell you that, but you're ability to handle those times will be easier with time. I know that sounds incredibly trite, but there is truth in that, none-the-less.

I have now gone through the year of holidays and traditional events. I think for the most part- because I prepped myself for it, the "dates" did not affect me as bad as I original anticipated. For me it seems to be the small non-events. My son telling a story, they way he expresses himself is so much like his dad. Cleaning a drawer and finding a note, "Dad call mom" or a song and even a thunder storm. These are the times that I get an overwhelming of mixed emotions. Sad because I miss him so much and yes happy that I have these memories and can still feel what I had felt at the time my husband was alive.

Isn't it amazing how things can suddenly catch you off guard?

Even though I recently moved to a new house, and so I cleaned out a lot of things in the move, I still find things with my wife's handwriting on it. It always stops me for a few moments to "remember when."

It is amazing. Sometimes at the worst times! lol! Yesterday I was doing a word puzzle. I looked up a word in the dictionary and there was a mark against a word. My husband always marked a word he looked up. I started to tear up uncontrollably. In a weird way I am glad it happens because it means he is still a huge part of me. As time passes I always fear that I will forget what he felt like close to me.