Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk in San Jose October 25th

http://www.cancer.org/docroot/PAR/PAR_2_Making_Strides_Against_Breast_Cancer.asp

that so cool that you doing the breast cancer walk i alway donated becuase my mom had breastcancer

I am a 10 year transplant from NYC. I have to make a comment about the Bay Area that may not be too popular. I thought when coming out here making friends would be easier than in NY (with NY having such a reputation for rude folk).

I found it rather troubling that folks in the Bay Area have a real tendency to "Stick with thier own kind". I don't mean racially. In that respect, the Bay Area is great in its acceptance and tolerance of different cultures and ethnic backgrounds. I just found folks in Silicon Valley not as open to new friendships and relationships as I did back east.

I've been here for a decade now, and still, making friends is tougher here than in a city renown for "rude" people. I find it to be an interesting, yet troubling dichotomy.

Maybe it's just a question of familiarity, or maybe it's a question of surface politeness and lack of willingness to delve deeper into those around us. I dunno. What do you all think? I'd love to hear it.

CPagan,

I can well understand this experience. Although I am a native; I will tell you that the bay area, and the silicon valley specifically has changed quite a bit over my 57 years here.

Anyplace will change.....but the Santa Clara Valley was known for cherry and apricot orchards long before it was growing wafers. It seemed that when the lifestyle was not quite so competetive, nor quite so frenetic; people would actually take a bit of time to develop relationships, and then invest the time in keeping those relationships going.

The changes brought about by the ease with which most of us have become "wired"...and the kinds of efforts required in the work place to keep your position secure in a population and talent rich area has, I think, encouraged growing isolation. We connect via email...message boards....gaming environments.... we shop online , send cards, download music.... With a fairly modest rig, one can easily find themselves staring at a screen during most of their waking hours; either working in the medium, socializing through it, or both.

It has it's advantages and drawbacks... You and I may live mere minutes from one another; but it took TBD to "meet"....for all I know, you were the person in front of me at the checkout line at Safeway...or the one that snatched up my favourite table at Sonoma Chicken Coop the other night.... :- )

I read your profile, and you said you tended to be a little shy.... so let me extend my hand to you in friendship. It's nice to meet you. :-)

Stephanie

I think it depends on where you go and how you try to make friends. I think unfortunately many people only look at making friends at work and don't branch out. I've lived many places, including New York and I have found making friends is more about what I do to make friends than where I live.

I agree, although I think it's like most things, a combo of your attitude, do you really want to make friends? In addition to the fact that some areas may very well have a more inviting atmosphere where one feels at ease and more welcome and comfortable.