I may have been more fortunate than others as I still had a 2 1/2 yo son to love and care for when I lost my oldest son. I don't remember changing anything . I don't think changing anything would have made an impact for me. The loss of my child predominated my every moment. Everyone must find their own way of having peace. If it brings you comfort, do it. I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions. Even after 36 years, I can think of nothing. Having a loving and supportive family , and friends, makes all the difference.

Janice, you are so right--a supportive family and friends makes a huge difference. There are a few things we have done since Tracy died six years ago that are meaningful in our family. My son put a huge lighted star on top of our biggest silo on the farm and it shines brightly for the whole month of December. We put a Christmas tree in our yard on "Tracy's Corner" with a lighted angel next to it. This year my five year old twin granddaughters had a terrific time decorating the Tracy Tree and it was fun to tell them stories about the aunt they never met as we decorated the tree. I began a collection of angel ornaments and it is my goal to have a tree decorated entirely with angels one day. As a family, we begin our Christmas Eve festivities by visiting the cemetery, putting a little tree there with battery powered lights and lighting a candle in a vase. Sometimes we sing a carol or two--that depends on how cold it is because of our young grandchildren. In this simplay way--it takes about 30 to 45 minutes total, we include Tracy in our Christmas celebration and are able to then focus on the happier parts of the holiday without the sadness being the focus. Our normal traditions have not changed--we have just added a couple things so that we include Tracy and then we can move on knowing that she has not been forgotten.

Hi,

My Oldest Son,Brian(P.A.Feb.9,2001 in Ft.Worth,Tx. of Brain Cancer)has been in the Spirit World for almost 9 years now;we (his Family & Friends)miss him terribly,still.However,we know he is in the right place(His Soul),and is at Peace.

We always have pictures of him present in our homes(maybe a tradition?),and speak of him,whenever the right time presents itself-more of him,when he was living(maybe a tradition?)

During the Holiday Seasons-especially at Christmas time,we hang a stocking for him,as if he is still with us(another tradition?),and fill it with gifts(which his Younger Brother(Wayne)usually accepts.

Brian is in our Daily Prayers,and always fondly remembered.

The first 2 or 3 years,since his passing,because we were still missing his physical presence.

I have telephone messages he left on an audio tape,when he was still alive-that I play occasionally,so I never forget the

sound of his voice-this is hard-but necessary for myself,and anyone else who wants to listen.

My Wife and I are pretty strong Spiritually speaking,and understand/know where he is at this time-and definitely believe that there is a great possibility that we will all be together once again-on what we call:"the other side" in "Heavenly Father's Celestial Kingdom"-that we will actually see him again in a perfect body(with no diseases,illnesses,or

pain).Knowing and believing this way-certainly helps us,while on Earth,and the missing him as a physical mortal.

Thank You-Wishing All of You a Blessed,Merry,Happy and Healthy Holiday Season.

WillC

Thanks for sharing, Will, it sounds as if you and I share the same beliefs. The Gospel does help but it doesn't take away the pain or the longing to have our kids here with us. You have found some ways to keep Brian's memory alive and to help young members of the family who may not have known him to learn about who he is and what he means to the family. I think every parent's worse nightmare is the thought of losing a child and once that fear has been realized, the new fear becomes the thought of the child being forgotten by everyone.

Thanks again for sharing....

Kris