Is it that...

none of you think you are big and beautiful - or -

is it that you don't want to say - or -

is it that even you don't know?!?

It's actually for me that I don't really want to be adored. It's so lonely at the top!

I like to be admired, treated fairly, listened to, supported and sometimes even cosseted, but adoration seems less intimate to me.

I just want to be accepted for me, who I am on the inside. Whether I go up or down in weight I want to be treated the same and have moral support for what I'm going through. I've only had one man in my life who truly adored me and had me up on a high pedestal. Unfortunately he started having strokes and heart attacks four months into the relationship. I miss him to this day. He was so very special and always made me feel that way.

Man, talk about spltting a fine hair!

I think I'd like to be respected over being adored. If you understand and respect me I think that adoration will easily come along with that.

Personally, I can think of alot more than to be adored. I'd want my kids(not a potential mate/lover) to adore me, after the respect...of course...

When I hear the word "adored" my "creep-o-meter" starts sounding. I don't want to fulfill some fantasy of a man who wants to experiance a "fat woman." I am a woman who happens to be big, but I don't let my size limit who I am. My size may limit who may be attracted to me, but they are only looking at the exterior, not looking or want to know the entire person.

I want to loved for me, not because you get off on my size, or want me because I have job stability, or I have a car, etc. I've been approached by several men who want to experiance "being" with a fat woman. Oh, baby, lines like that don't make me melt, they piss me off. If they can find a woman who has such low self esteem and is willing to play into their fantacies, without regard for her own needs, more power to them. But I'm not that woman. Please don't take this as an attack on your question, it's just a perspective about being a large woman that I want to offer for discussion.

I know I'm beautiful, confident, self assurred, and intelligent, but finding the man who can see and appreciate all of me, not just a part of me, is proving to be very elusive. It's hard to date because I don't fit societies media fueled image of skeletal beauty. If I have lived centuries ago, when large women were appreciated and celebrated, perhaps I would stand a chance, but in the here and now, I'm almost considered a freak. I continue to look for my mate, companion, lover but when will he appear? I have to continue to hope that he will be around the corner, because I refuse to have a defeatist attitude about dating. Hope springs eternal, but some days, it's a pretty dark journey.

I'd argue it's hard for you to date because you're prejudging every guy that's attracted to you, which is certainly not attractive.