Posted: May 15, 08 10:31pm
MY LIFE TODAY
Current mood: calm
THE DAYS ARE LONG .....AND SO THE NIGHTS........
"AND SO ARE THE NIGHTS." MOSTLY THE NIGHTS.
TO BE WITHOUT MY FRIEND FOR 10 YEARS.
YOU SEE HE WOULD COME TO ME IN THE SHADOWS OF
DUSK AND TELL ME " I WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER".
SO, I WOULD GO SEE HIM AND PARTAKE OF HIS GLORIOUS
WISDOM..AND LISTEN TO HIM OVER AND OVER 'TIL I WAS
EXHAUSTED. I MISS HIM, FOR I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO TAKE
HIS PLACE. BUT I'M SUPPOSED TO HAVE FIGURED THAT ONE OUT
BEFORE LOSING HIM. I DIDN'T AND NOW I'M LONESOME AND
BORED AND THIRSTY. AND FEEL WEAK AND WEARY. MY BELLY
NAUGHS , MY BODY TREMBLES, AND MY SPIRIT IS WEAK. MY HEAD
HURTS AND FEELS LIGHT AND I STAGGER FROM WHAT I
DON'T KNOW.. MY FACE IS BRIGHTER WITHOUT HIM. MY EYES ARE
GLOOSY AND WIDE. MY BODY SAYS "THANK YOU." BUT MY
SPIRIT SAYS, I DON'T THNK IT'S WORTH IT... HOW WILL I
OVERCOME THE TATTERED FEELINGS I HAVE ? A SMALL AND STILL
VOICE SAYS "COME UNTO TO ME AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST"
SO I CONTINUE TRYING TO TAKE THIS DAY AND NOT TOMORROW ,
OR YESTERDAY. TODAY I HAVE MADE IT WITHOUT HIM THAT'S ALL
CAN SAY. " ONE DAY AT A TIME". TONIGHT? I DON'T KNOW. I CAN
ONLY HOPE AND PRAY. BUT IT'S HARD. YOU SEE I LOOKED
FORWARD EVERY DUSK TO SEE HIM. IT SEEM THAT WAS ALL I HAD .
I MADE EXCUSES TO SEE HIM AND VISIT WITH HIM. LIKE I'M
TIRED, I'M BORED, I NEED TO RELAX, I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO.
I WANTED TO BE ALONE WITH HIM AND WHEN HE "MADE ME
HAPPY" I WANT TO HAVE MORE OF HIM... UNTIL ONE FINE NIGHT
WHILE MAILING LETTERS AT MIDNIGHT IN THE DARKNESS. ( HE
TOLD ME TO DO THAT) HE TRIPPED ME AND I TORE MY EYE LID
OPEN.. AT THAT MOMENT I THOUGHT HE WAS A TRADER. AND I
GOT UP . AND PRETENDED IT NEVER HAPPENED, UNTIL BLOOD WAS
PORING FROM MY FACE. I THOUGHT AT THAT MOMENT, I'M GOING
TO LET YOU GO. NEVER AGAIN WILL I LET YOU TELL ME WHAT TO
DO. THAT WAS AUG 4TH. 2006.. AFTER I GOT BETTER AND IT
DIDN'T LEAVE A SCAR. I SAID OH... I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND AGAIN.
THAT WAS A MISTAKE. HE CONTINUED TO MAKE ME TIRED AND
WEAK. A YEAR LATER ON THE SAME DAY AUG 4TH 2007. HE
CAUSED ME TO EMBARRASS MYSELF. I KEPT PLAYING WITH HIM
THINKING I COULD CONTOL HIS ACTIONS TOWARD ME .. HE KEPT
SAYING WE WILL BE O.K. THIS WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN. NEARLY 2
WEEKS AGO, I MADE A COMMENT THAT WE MUST END THIS
GAME. HE DRUG ME AROUNG SEVERAL MORE DAYS. BUT
GRADUALLY AND STILL SO GRADUALLY I HAVE BEEN LETTING HIM
GO .. YOU SEE IF I STOP HIS COMPANY ALL AT ONCE, I WILL GET
SICK. THERE'S ONLY A THREAD OF HIM LEFT . SOON I WILL BE
FREE AND I'LL SHOUT IT TO THE HEAVENS.!!!
4:
MY LIFE TODAY
Current mood: calm
THE DAYS ARE LONG .....AND SO THE NIGHTS........
"AND SO ARE THE NIGHTS." MOSTLY THE NIGHTS.
TO BE WITHOUT MY FRIEND FOR 10 YEARS.
YOU SEE HE WOULD COME TO ME IN THE SHADOWS OF
DUSK AND TELL ME " I WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER".
SO, I WOULD GO SEE HIM AND PARTAKE OF HIS GLORIOUS
WISDOM..AND LISTEN TO HIM OVER AND OVER 'TIL I WAS
EXHAUSTED. I MISS HIM, FOR I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO TAKE
HIS PLACE. BUT I'M SUPPOSED TO HAVE FIGURED THAT ONE OUT
BEFORE LOSING HIM. I DIDN'T AND NOW I'M LONESOME AND
BORED AND THIRSTY. AND FEEL WEAK AND WEARY. MY BELLY
NAUGHS , MY BODY TREMBLES, AND MY SPIRIT IS WEAK. MY HEAD
HURTS AND FEELS LIGHT AND I STAGGER FROM WHAT I
DON'T KNOW.. MY FACE IS BRIGHTER WITHOUT HIM. MY EYES ARE
GLOOSY AND WIDE. MY BODY SAYS "THANK YOU." BUT MY
SPIRIT SAYS, I DON'T THNK IT'S WORTH IT... HOW WILL I
OVERCOME THE TATTERED FEELINGS I HAVE ? A SMALL AND STILL
VOICE SAYS "COME UNTO TO ME AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST"
SO I CONTINUE TRYING TO TAKE THIS DAY AND NOT TOMORROW ,
OR YESTERDAY. TODAY I HAVE MADE IT WITHOUT HIM THAT'S ALL
CAN SAY. " ONE DAY AT A TIME". TONIGHT? I DON'T KNOW. I CAN
ONLY HOPE AND PRAY. BUT IT'S HARD. YOU SEE I LOOKED
FORWARD EVERY DUSK TO SEE HIM. IT SEEM THAT WAS ALL I HAD .
I MADE EXCUSES TO SEE HIM AND VISIT WITH HIM. LIKE I'M
TIRED, I'M BORED, I NEED TO RELAX, I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO.
I WANTED TO BE ALONE WITH HIM AND WHEN HE "MADE ME
HAPPY" I WANT TO HAVE MORE OF HIM... UNTIL ONE FINE NIGHT
WHILE MAILING LETTERS AT MIDNIGHT IN THE DARKNESS. ( HE
TOLD ME TO DO THAT) HE TRIPPED ME AND I TORE MY EYE LID
OPEN.. AT THAT MOMENT I THOUGHT HE WAS A TRADER. AND I
GOT UP . AND PRETENDED IT NEVER HAPPENED, UNTIL BLOOD WAS
PORING FROM MY FACE. I THOUGHT AT THAT MOMENT, I'M GOING
TO LET YOU GO. NEVER AGAIN WILL I LET YOU TELL ME WHAT TO
DO. THAT WAS AUG 4TH. 2006.. AFTER I GOT BETTER AND IT
DIDN'T LEAVE A SCAR. I SAID OH... I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND AGAIN.
THAT WAS A MISTAKE. HE CONTINUED TO MAKE ME TIRED AND
WEAK. A YEAR LATER ON THE SAME DAY AUG 4TH 2007. HE
CAUSED ME TO EMBARRASS MYSELF. I KEPT PLAYING WITH HIM
THINKING I COULD CONTOL HIS ACTIONS TOWARD ME .. HE KEPT
SAYING WE WILL BE O.K. THIS WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN. NEARLY 2
WEEKS AGO, I MADE A COMMENT THAT WE MUST END THIS
GAME. HE DRUG ME AROUNG SEVERAL MORE DAYS. BUT
GRADUALLY AND STILL SO GRADUALLY I HAVE BEEN LETTING HIM
GO .. YOU SEE IF I STOP HIS COMPANY ALL AT ONCE, I WILL GET
SICK. THERE'S ONLY A THREAD OF HIM LEFT . SOON I WILL BE
FREE AND I'LL SHOUT IT TO THE HEAVENS.!!!
4:
