I would tell the person to pray about it, really seek the Lord's will about this. And then wait. Wait until you know for sure.

In the natural, I would say that those two things, money and whether or not to have children are HUGE and those issues must be resolved before marriage. if neither is willing to change or compromise - i would think that would be a deal breaker.

God really does want the right couples to marry in Him. Great advice and especially the HUGE and wait point outs.

this is really a personal type thing for me, as i have a 27 year old unmarried daughter, who is involved with an unbeliever.

she has come crying to me more than once about this man. the first time i told her, i have two words for you "unequally yoked".

since then there have been break ups and make ups more times than i can count over the past two and a half years.

i am praying for this young man to come to know Christ. I have told my daughter not to expect him to behave as a saved person, because he can't and he can't understand spiritual things, so stop preaching at him. i told her to lead by example and not lower her own standards as she tries to walk with Christ.

that being said, she is trying to walk with one foot in the world and one with the Lord. makes for a lot of falling down and frustration.

i just keep praying for God's will in her life. i pray for the young man. i try and show love to both of them when i have an opportunity. (no, they are not living together - thank goodness.)

Cinder, I know.

I can only sadly say that this young man, come to Christ or not, is who he is. If your daughter preaches at him her desire is to change him. When we marry with that grave error there will never be fruition of two souls binding together as one.

If she is the daughter that I do pray for already, the deeper issue has been revealed today. I appreciate those that will speak that all is not well with their loved ones. May you continue to grow in the Lord and receive the blessings that are for those that abide in Him.

I pray that your DD may see God's will even if she may be vehemently opposed to it verses her strong will.

Surrender to God comes with being set free. I will take that freedom over any and all warm fuzzy offered to me. I wouldn't as a young person, so with understanding I pray.

This is a topic near and dear to my heart!

Marriage is hard. It is work. It is constant and daily compromise. It can also be one of the most rewarding and life-saving experiences; to know that there is someone home to listen and care when it seems no one else does. I would tell anyone who is considering marriage to be strong in faith, for the Bible tells us everything we need to know about relationships and love and marriage and divorce. God has to come first with each of them, then and only then can the marriage be good.

The money problems can be worked out...the children question not so easily. If there cannot be an agreement about offspring, I would encourage them to wait until there is a change of heart or a compromise. Adoption? Maybe later in life? It can be a heartbreaking experience to never fulfill one's need to parent and I have seen couples who love each other divorce because of this one thing.

I would also strongly suggest premarital counseling so that these and other issues can be brought to the forefront so they can be worked out before marriage is decided.

thanks ed,

i so appreciate your heart, your love and your understanding. you are right in your observance that she desires to change him. i truly don't think he is the one for her, but my place is to pray.

i too, have learned, the hard way, that warm/fuzzy or even intoxicating excitement can in no way compare to the perfect freedom Christ offers. but then, i didn't learn that over night either.

as a friend of mine has said, 'you can't put an old head on young shoulders.'

i would appreciate prayers for my DD whenever the Lord would put her on your heart. thanks!

Is there a specific reason you dont want children? The bible says they are a gift from the Lord. Some people are afraid others dont want them due to the financial cost. If your reason is based on fear than you can rest assured that love will cast out fear.