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For woman there is a real physical change after menopause, We spend most of our lives keeping everyone happy and suddenly we want things for ourselves. Not so interested in making sure your lunch is packed. I know in my own marriage is has had an impact but thanks be I have a wonderful husband.
Well, you definitely described my ex-husband! :-).
But seriously...he was the one who wanted the divorce, but, ironically, I feel that I ended up being the bigger beneficiary.
I was forced to create a whole new future for myself to replace the one I thought I was going to have. It took a few years, but I've now created a wonderful new life and revitalized my career with a show I co-wrote and co-star in celebrating the "Seasoned Woman" which opens Off-Broadway in 2009. At sixty, the future looks brighter than ever. Isn't the Chinese symbol "crisis" the same one used for OPPORTUNITY? It was certainly true in my case.
Mariann
Check out the show... :-)
website: www.moistonstage.com
For woman there is a real physical change after menopause...
Ah, yes. I read this great book once called The Women's Wheel of Life: Thirteen Archetypes of Woman at Her Fullest Power which described thirteen archetypes for women in four stages of life. Clearly, women are much more complicated and have many transitions (mentally, physically, and spiritually) some acknowledged by us men and some not (mostly because we don't really understand).
Isn't the Chinese symbol "crisis" the same one used for OPPORTUNITY?
My understanding is that the "crisis" symbol is a combination of two words: danger and opportunity.
Perhaps risk and opportunity would be a delightful way of looking at it.
I'm on the fun ride of menopause now.I told someone yesterday it should be called menorun!
I know men go thru the emotional stuff like you described.But we go thru it with the added bonus of all the physical crap.
And the bonkers syndrome.My brain turns to scrambled eggs,I go on pause,just like you pause a movie,I just stop right in the middle of what I am saying.It's not like I've lost my thought,I just stop.A minute later,I just start up again.
I wish I had a fast forward so that I could get thru this quick.
I don't get the male throw it out the window..I think many even if they have a good relationship,that becomes their enemy.Maybe it's a long term partner is a reminder of them getting older.Or they wonder what they've missed out on.Or their partner's changed and they don't like it.
To me,it doesn't justify throwing the person away that's been with you all those years,but it's more fair than staying with them if you don't want to any longer.Maybe cheating on them,whatever.
It's a rough time
Not sure about women, but for men, mid-life crisis is when we wake up and realize that the life we've created is perhaps not the one we really want.
We then deal with the crisis by pressing the reset button which involves trying re-live our youth (ie, buying sports cars, dating much younger women, dressing well below their age) or simply chucking the whole thing (family, job, marriage) and starting over.
reset -- that's my go to word
We keep talking about starting over, perhaps we are just evolving.
