Wow, feel your pain I have 3 boys 20, 18, 14. We try to help them so they won't have to go thru the things we did but I guess they don't see it that way. You are right the most painful thing to do is step back. especially when you what's coming. Is she doing better? you are in prayers

Yes, she's doing much better. She has a relationship with her Biological now and she is moving on with her life. I'm a bit jealous that she's with him now when he was not there for her at all while growing up. But, it's her life and I just want her happy...She deserves some happiness..I guess I must have smothered her like a hen..

Send or give her the poem. I'm gathering you are not as close now as you'd like to be so let her know that you love her unconditionally & that you'll always be there for her.

Even if she doesn't react immediately I'm sure there will be a time when she appreciates it.

This is something that she may want to read now that she is older...it has a good meaning...I bet it would be something she would keep for years. I go through things with my daughter who is almost 15, more than I ever did my son who is 18. Girls...we know what kind of emotions we went through...Wow. You know, today times are much worse for them. I think you should give it to her!

Sorry if I've mislead. I also have a relationship with her. She no longer lives with me and she has admitted that for a season or two she disliked me, but we are passed that. She has since gotten her GED and is now in the National Guard. She leaves for training on the 22nd of this mos. She calls me everyday or ALMOST everyday...She'll be 20 this oct. and it will be her first birthday that I won't be able to celebrate with her...

Glad to hear you are pretty close with her and she didn't self-destruct during her rebel period. And it sounds annoying that your ex gets some love from her, but better for her that way, huh?

I agree with the others that you should consider sending her that poem. I think she'd like it.

Spadeluv91, I agree that giving her the poem, especially now as she will be away from you, will be something she will probably appreciate. I'm glad you are close--that's something to celebrate (even if she is physically away from you). And our job as parents isn't like being friends---there are times when our kids may not like us for the direction or guidance we are providing them---but in the end, they will and do appreciate our "parenting" later. Sounds like you're through with that period. As for her biological dad, just think of the healing that she is likely receiving from having a relationship with him now--since all those years all she had was you. No one can take your place, either, so it's all good! All the best, Barbara