Whoa, Lady! This is beyond the pale.

I read another of your posts about buying your daughter a vibrator and your young son pornography and I've gotta say, you have some serious boundary issues. Your job IS to protect your kids...educate them sure, but I fear for them when these are the things they are learning from you.

I'm very sorry if this sounds harsh. Tickling the breasts of a 14 year old IS abuse. It sounds like you have also been a victim of his abuse, at least emotional/verbal. Look, a grown man who gets off on teen porn? There's a word for this. PEDOPHILE.

If anything you are UNDER-reacting and if I were you I would immediately seek counseling for yourself and your kids. Qualified counseling, not some quack who will minimize this issue. And if there is any way possible, get that creep out of your house before something really goes awry if it hasn't already.

I'll just add, my kids from my first marriage grew up with my stbx who verbally and emotionally tortured all of us and always chalked it up to "teasing." It wasn't until he was finally out of my house that I really understood the impact of his abuse. It is insidious and I fully understand how you can lose perspective over time in these circumstances.

I wish someone had given me a very hard shake 20 years ago, I really do.

I wish you the best. Be strong and take care of your own!

Frankly, I'm surprised that you are even asking the question. This is blatant sexual abuse and if you don't keep him away from your daughter, you are just as culpable. Face it, this man is a pedophile. Paradise Regained is correct, a grown man shouldn't be getting off on teen porn nor behaving the way you have decsribed to us. You need to be thinking what is in the best interest of your daughter. This cannot be construed as normal male behavior in any way. I second the need for qualified counseling for you and your daughter. You say he has never molested your child...I hope to God you are correct, but it appears that his inappropriate behavior is increasing. YOU are the only one in a position to do something about it. Please act now.

This is shocking. Is this behavior you would accept from your own father? A stepfather's role should be one of example and protector...he is abusing your daughter. This should never have come this far. Get rid of him (Get rid of your therapist too).

What you have just described is abuse.

I'm with them. The comments he makes about your daughter are absolutely unacceptable and so is much of the behavior you describe. Treat this very seriously. You are NOT over-reacting, you are under-reacting.

This man is a pedophile and no matter what he says, keep him permanently away from your daughter. Fortunately, he is not her bio father so once you get him out of your life, he has no reason to be near her.

When he is gone, have a real good talk with her and maybe find a therapist who can help her understand that her step father is a very sick man. You, perhaps, have been living partly in the land of denial, and you need to help your daughter get her viewe of family life recentered. Her view of men has been distorted by this pond scum son of satan.

Your therapist should be reported to the licensing board. He is either a charlatan or a pedophile himself!

Best of luck to you and your daughter who is lucky to have escaped the worst that can happen.

Talk to your daughter and get him out of the house. If your daughter says he ever did anything, call the cops.