Posted: May 18, 08 12:12am
-Hillary Clinton said today she's not getting out of the race since her girlfriend is still rooting for her. It's the first time Hillary has gotten the girl on the campaign trail instead of Bill.
-One of the Bush twins got married this week. It was a shotgun wedding but Bush said, "I'm proud of her and am looking forward to her book on tape." And, as always, the Bush twins managed an outfit that didn't require a bra.
-Barack Obama was supposedly called naive by President Bush over Iran. Obama said, "If anyone is naive, it is Hillary thinking she's gonna win."
-Obama said he would be an excellent President who would advocate a change in course not a President that only stays one course since he's "special."
-Ted Kennedy collapsed on the Obama campaign trail after a fiery speech. Ted usually collapses after a fiery drive off of a bridge.
-Bill Clinton said the new movie Sex and the City was boring since it was all about love and nothing about what counts in life--sex.
-FoxNews's Morning Show claimed it was "the official 2008 election early morning show." They actually meant the official John McCain 2008 election morning show.
-All the news networks claim they will go beyond the headlines in the Presidential Election. That's you job, dummy!
-Women supporters of Hillary are starting to get depressed over Hillary losing. So, instead of being depressed, they are finally going on dates or developing a drinking problem.
-Bush quit golf for the Iraq war since it was ruining his handicap.
-John McCain promised to end the Military's Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy till someone told him what Rear Admiral really means.
-Even gays said they aren't as gay as the BravoTV network since the guys are mostly ugly.
-The Golf Channel promised to carry Election Night live. They said, "Obama's like Tiger Woods and McCain is like that old golfer that just won't quit."
-More superdelegates have endorsed Barack Obama getting a strong response from Bill Clinton that they wouldn't even be superdelegates without him. Monica Lewinsky endorsed John McCain since she said, "Democrats left a bad taste in my mouth."
And, finally, Bush is considering Crawford, Texas as the site of his Presidential Library. He said, "I want to be close to all my books on tape."
