Lesbians meet at Home Depot??

Por Que? Huh? Duh!(Blinds or Curtains)

Name two who have pulled out of Jenna J. too soon.(Art Finger & Jim Glasscock--NO!)

Britney S.--trailer white trash?

(Her star on Hollywood Blvd.

is on a manhole cover.)

A lot of whores, including Madonna, have a star on Hollywood Blvd. *Britney Included.

Ask Rachel about Jenna Jameson since I can't stand Jenna, but, I believe that is an analogy. I can tell ya Rachel hates Obama. Jennifer has about as much use for him as used toilet paper.

Home Depot is a known Butch Lesbian pick-up place. I think they meet at Home Depot "how to" meetings. :)

My fav was the Teri and Eva comment. Gee, my Tivo would think I was a fag for NOT taping it. LOL!

LOL...You funny guys!! Thanks

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider this...

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston.

After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.00.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00.

When the clerk tells him $350.00 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.

'But we didn't use them,' the man complains.

'Well, they are here, and you could have,' explains the Manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. 'The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood, and Las Vegas perform here,' the Manager says.

'But we didn't go to any of those shows,' complains the man again.

'Well, we have them, and you could have.' the Manager replies.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentions the man replied, 'But we didn't use it!'

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay.

He writes a check and gives it to the Manager.

The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. 'But sir,' he says, this check is only made out for $50.00.'

'That's correct,' says the man. 'I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with my wife.'

'But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager.

'Well, too bad,' the man replied 'She was here and you could have.'

HOW MOSES GOT THE 10 COMMANDMENTS

God went to the Arabs and said, 'I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.'

The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?'

And the Lord said, 'They are rules for living.'

'Can you give us an example?'

'Thou shall not kill.'

'Not kill? We're not interested.'

So He went to the Blacks and said, 'I have Commandments.'

The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, 'Honor thy Father and Mother.'

'Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not interested.'

Then He went to the Mexicans and said, 'I have Commandments.'

The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said 'Thou shall not steal.'

'Not steal? We're not interested.'

Then He went to the French and said, 'I have Commandments.'

The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, 'Thou shall not commit adultery.'

'Not commit adultery? We're not interested.'

Finally, He went to the Jews and said, 'I have Commandments.'

'Commandments?' They said, 'How much are they?'

'They're free.'

'We'll take 10.'

There... that should offend just about everybody.

When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex?

'Tarzan not know sex' he replied.

Jane explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said 'Oh, Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree.'

Horrified Jane said, 'Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly.' She took off her clothing and lay down on the ground. 'Here' she said, pointing to her privates, 'you must put it in here.'

Tarzan removed his loincloth, showing Jane his considerable manhood, stepped closer to her and kicked her in the crotch!

Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed 'What did you do that for?'

Tarzan replied, 'check for squirrel.'